by Jack Garcia
I apologize for taking so long to post movie reviews… but not as much
as the creators of The Lorax should
apologize to Dr. Seuss for raping his dead body. That
was unforgivable. Luckily This Means War was cute enough, but my
favorite would have to be 21 Jump Street!
This Means War AVERAGE
Boy meets girl. Other boy meets
same girl. Boys are best friends. Boys happen to be spies and they are willing
to do anything—and I mean anything—to get the girl. Reese Witherspoon plays Lauren, a woman who
can’t seem to decide which of her two suitors she should fall in love
with. There’s the strong, silent type named Tuck (Tom Hardy)
and the smooth-talking ladies’ man FDR (Chris Pine). Luckily she has her friend Trish (Chelsea
Handler) to crudely guide her along the way while providing much comic relief to
the overreaching plot. The spy vs. spy
tomfoolery is lighthearted and for the most part fun, but if you’re looking for
anything besides two attractive men chasing after the same girl then you’ll be
disappointed. I mean, they do try to put
in an actual villain (Til Schweiger), but he’s pretty much pointless. However, if fluffy popcorn flicks are what
you’re craving, then by all means let the battle begin!
Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax AWFUL
Dr. Seuss once wrote a charming little book called The Lorax. That little book
has been stretched out into a feature-length movie with random side plots,
annoying new characters, exhausting action sequences and… wait for it… wait for it… it’s been turned
into a musical! Oh, I love a good
musical number, don’t get me wrong, but the emphasis should be placed on the
word “good.” Here the lyrics are horrible, shouting out things like “I’m
biggering my corporate size.” Where the
book was whimsical with a subtle yet artfully told message of conservation,
this new movie is loud, tedious, in-your-face and despite its best efforts,
never funny. Why do we need a
hallucinatory scene of bears flying into the air while eating
marshmallows? Why is the Lorax (Danny
DeVito) so aggravating? Who decided they
should cast Zac Efron and Taylor Swift and make them the only non-singing
characters? I challenge you to find
answers to these questions and any sort of enjoyment from this heavy-handed
political farce.
21 Jump Street AWESOME!
Loosely based on the 80s television series of the same name, 21 Jump Street is hilarious! Jonah Hill might have struck out with The Sitter, but he sure hit a home run
with this one. He plays Schmidt, a newly
trained police officer stuck on bike duty with his friend Jenko (Channing
Tatum). It sucks and they crave an
assignment more exciting. Eventually
they are asked to go undercover as high school students to catch a drug dealer,
giving them an opportunity to relive their own high school experiences. It’s essentially a buddy comedy, and these
two have some great chemistry and surprisingly, Tatum has some comedic
chops! The jokes are crude, but smart…
and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it!
Smaller parts are pulled off nicely by Dave Franco, Rob Riggle, Ellie
Kemper and Ice Cube.
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