The Gleek Critique: "Special Education" Episode

New Directions performing together at Sectionals, even though they all hate each other.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

When Ms. Pilsbury suggests to Mr. Schuester that he utilize some of the less-noticed glee club members, he decides that Rachel and Finn will not get any solos at the competition.  They will feature Brittany and Mike's dance moves, and give solos to Quinn and Sam instead.  Rachel, of course, is scandalized.

Kurt has his own troubles getting a solo with the Warblers.  Even with Rachel's help, he doesn't get it.  Blaine tells him he's trying to hard to stand out, when he needs to be fitting in.  Seems like this new school isn't as great as Kurt thought it would be.

To add to the drama, Santana decides to spill the beans about her and Finn, and now Rachel is madder than ever.  To get back at him, she makes out with Puck, and Finn breaks up with her.  No more star couple.  And the infidelity doesn't stop there.  Apparently Mike and Brittany are doing a little more than rehearsing together... leaving poor Tina and Artie heartbroken.  Or were they? And speaking of doomed relationships, Will's love for Emma will be forever unrequited.  She and Dr. Carl got married in Vegas!

The Pros:

• Rachel walking in with tape over her mouth.  Ha ha.  What a way to protest her lack of a solo...
• "I gotta say.  She kinda' rocked my world." 
• I loved when Blaine and the Warblers sang Train's "Hey, Soul Sister."  So so so so good!
• I finally like the Artie/Brittany relationship.  At first I didn't get it (and also doubted it would last more than an episode) but they were really cute together tonight.
• I enjoyed New Directions' performance of "(I've Had) The Time of My Life"/"Valerie".  Sam, Quinn, and Santana rocked it!  And speaking of awesome solos from the supporting cast, I'm glad Tina got featured heavily in "Dog Days Are Over" by Florence and the Machine.  She hardly ever gets a solo and this one made me quite happy!

The Cons:

• Old people singing is just... weird.  I didn't enjoy that at all.
• Sue was absent this episode, and an episode without Sue Sylvester never really seems complete.  I need to hear her crazy rants!
• Oh, and a three-way tie?  That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!  So mad about that.  I guess I should be happy that New Directions is going to compete at the next level... but come on?  A three-way tie?  Does that actually happen?  Ever?

The Gleek Critique: "Furt" Episode

Carol Burnett guest starring as Sue's mother Doris.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

The episode starts with an exciting announcement:  Burt and Carol are getting married!  And when Sue Sylvester's only match on an online dating site is herself, she decides that the one and only person she can marry is herself.  And since everyone else is proposing, Sam decides to propose to Quinn.  But not really.  He gets down on one knee and presents her with a promise ring.

Love is in the air, it's clear, but so is fear and intimidation.  Karofsky is clearly not handling his suppressed homosexuality well at all, and he's bullying Kurt more and more.  The glee girls convince their glee boyfriends to do something about it, so Artie and Mike confront Karofsky, which leads to a fight where Sam joins in and kicks Karofsky's ass!  Things get even more heated when Kurt's dad Burt finds out and it almost leads to Karofsky's expulsion.

The Pros:

• Carol Burnett and Jane Lynch singing "Ohio" from the musical Wonderful Town was simply amazing.  A fun tune, with great harmonies, and Carol Burnett is just such a legend!  I was so so so happy!
• Burt and Carol's wedding was adorable, and she looked really pretty in her wedding dress!
• The glee kids' version of Bruno Mars' "Marry You" was really fun, showcasing all of the couples.  Equally catchy and cute was "Just the Way You Are," another Bruno Mars song.
• Finn's wedding speech dedicated to Kurt was very grown-up of him, and I'm glad that he's become a lot more accepting of Kurt, especially now that they are step-brothers.
• Yes, Sue's wedding dress is a track-suit dress.  How awesome is that?
• Sue, although still mean and condescending, actually sticks up for Kurt in this episode.

The Cons:

• Karofsky didn't get expelled (just a verbal warning from the superintendent) and since Karofsky's in, Kurt is out.  At the end of the episode he decides to go to the private school where Blaine attends.
• As Rachel points out, Kurt will be competing against them all at Sectionals.
• I kept reading everywhere that "Rachel and Finn take a big step," but they don't really.  Rachel still has no idea that Finn slept with Santana once.  If anyone took a big step, it was Quinn and Sam.  Or Burt and Carol.  Even Finn and Kurt.  But not Rachel and Finn really...

The Gleek Critique: "The Substitute" Episode

Gwyneth Paltrow as the substitute teacher Holly Holiday dancing with the rest of the cast to a mash-up of "Singin' in the Rain" and "Umbrella."  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

When Mr. Schuester gets so sick with the flu that he begins hallucinating toddler versions of his students, it's time for him to get some rest and bring in a substitute teacher.  And who do they bring in to temporarily fill his shoes?  Oh, just Oscar-winner Gwyneth Paltrow!  She plays Holly Holiday, a hip and fun substitute teacher who really knows how to connect with the kids (even a reluctant Rachel Berry).  But sometimes a teacher needs to be more than a friend...

Schue isn't the only one out sick.  Principal Figgins is gone too, and our ever-powerful Sue Sylvester has somehow managed to become acting principal.  Her first order of business?  Getting rid of all the tater tots in the school cafeteria, which just happens to be Mercedes' most favorite thing to eat.  And you should never incur the wrath of a proud black woman!  She will shove tater tots into the tailpipe of your car...

And while Mr. Schue is home sick--being cared for by his ex-wife Terri--he's watching his favorite movie Singin' in the Rain which causes him to have some groggy dreams of himself and the glee kids singing songs from the film such as "Make 'Em Laugh"   And Terri decides to take advantage of his weak and vulnerable state, pushing herself on him until he caves in...

The Pros:

• Holly Holiday's Spanish class lesson about Lindsay Lohan's rehab.  Ha ha ha!  Hilarious.  Yet nothing compares to her fabulous first day with the glee club singing Cee Lo's "Forget You."  Paltrow sure can sing!
• Holly saying "Hoarders and red wine I'm buzzed!!" while bonding with Sue.
• Lots of great jokes teasing Mr. Schue's (and the show's) obsession with Journey songs.  Made me smile every time.
• When Kurt said, "I opened my mouth and a little purse fell out," and a little pink purse actually fell out!  So funny.  Oh, and it looks like things are going well with Kurt and Blaine.  Maybe they will fall in love after all...
• The "Singin' in the Rain/Umbrella" number made me absolutely gleeful!  I loved this mash-up, and I'm always a sucker for big flashy rain numbers!

The Cons:

• Terri is always a huge b****, and I hate to see her show up.  She just needs to get over Will...
• Karofsky threatened to kill Kurt if he ever spills the secret of their kiss.  He's scary.
• As much as I like Chicago, I wasn't a fan of their production of "Nowadays."  Paltrow's dancing was a little off and the number just kind of felt unnecessary. 

The Gleek Critique: "Never Been Kissed" Episode

Kurt's surprising first kiss!  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

So Glee decided to skip a week again.  Lame.  I'm getting tired of this every other week thing.  I need my Glee fix on a weekly basis, thank you!

This week, the Glee kids are getting all hot and heavy with their make-out sessions, and in order to calm themselves down, they decide to start thinking about Coach Beiste because she's, let's face it, not sexy.  Beiste finds out though, and is so hurt by it that she quits.  It's up to Will to get her to come back.

Puck is back from juvie and needs to do community service or he'll be sent right back.  So he decides taking care of a "cripple" is good enough, and spends all his time wheeling Artie around.  Puck also takes it upon himself to teach Artie his bad boy ways to get girls... specifically Brittany who Artie still has some feelings for apparently.

Then there's Kurt, who's being bullied relentlessly for being gay and nobody seems to care.  So he decides to check out a nearby private school for boys, where he meets Blaine.  Kurt obviously wants to go to school there, where they have a zero-tolerance policy on bullying, but Blaine advises him not to run away from his problems but to meet them head on.  To have courage.  So Kurt decides to stand up to his bully, and lo and behold, the bully is a little gay too...

The Pros:

• Puck and Beiste are back!  My friend Rebecca's theory is that the two of them secretly ran away together on some romantic vacation.  Ha ha!  But no matter why they've been absent, we're sure glad they are back. 
• Darren Criss is on Glee now!  Yay!  I've loved him ever since he played Harry Potter in A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel (with songs written by him I might add)... so to see him join the cast of my favorite show is just like Christmas coming early!
• When Beiste said, "You crap on my leg, I'll cut it off!" to Quinn I laughed so hard I almost crapped... but not on her leg.  Just in my pants.  That's embarrassing... but I really did laugh really hard.  
• Seeing Beiste all dressed up in lingerie and cheerleading uniforms was pretty hilarious as well.
• Oh, and Will kissed her!  Oh yes he did.

The Cons:

• They revealed who they are competing against at Sectionals...  what happened to the glee clubs from last year?  No bad girls?  No deaf kids?
• Happy about Darren Criss, but sad that he had to cut off all of his hair.  I liked his curls.
• Karofsky, the football player who bullies Kurt kissed him!  He kissed him!  Kurt's first kiss was with a guy who he doesn't even like... how sad is that?  And what's worse... I have a sneaking suspicion that he'll actually end up being the boyfriend Kurt's been rumored to have this season.  Ryan Murphy said he'd be a regular guy struggling with his feelings, and this guy fits that bill.
• Unless I'm forgetting one, there were only four musical numbers this episode... and only one of them was good.