Christmas in Cinema

by Jack Garcia

Sometimes the best Christmas moments in film come from movies that aren't even "Christmas movies" at all, so while none of the following movies qualified for my 25 Christmas Films for December 25th, they definitely contain some music to get you in the holiday spirit.

The first video I'd like to share is Doris Day and Gordon MacRae singing "Christmas Story" in the 1951 movie musical On Moonlight Bay.  The movie is about a tomboy named Marjorie who moves with her family to a small town in Indiana where she meets her neighbor William.  While initially unhappy with the move, she falls for William and puts aside baseball for more ladylike things.  In this scene, the two are beginning to fall in love at Christmastime.



In 2004's comedy Mean Girls by writer Tina Fey, Cady (Lindsay Lohan) is a new student trying to fit into her new high school with the hottest clique of them all:  the "Plastics."  In this scene, Lindsay Lohan and the other girls are performing a routine to a recording of "Jingle Bell Rock" at the school's Winter Talent Show when a technical difficulty causes Lohan to have to sing.




In the 1974 film version of the musical Mame, Lucille Ball plays the title character who is fun-loving eccentric with plenty of money to burn in the 1920s.  Her life changes entirely when she becomes the guardian of her nephew Patrick after her brother passes away.  In this scene, Lucille Ball sings "We Need a Little Christmas" as they decorate her home for the holidays.



In the 2007 live-action/computer-animated reboot of the classic cartoon Alvin and the Chipmunks, Dave Seville (Jason Lee) comes across three adorable chipmunks named Alvin (Justin Long), Simon (Matthew Gray Gubler) and Theodore (Jesse McCartney) who not only talk but sing!  He writes them the song "Christmas Don't Be Late" and it's that song that propels them to stardom.  This scene features the Christmas tune and serves as a montage showing their rising popularity.



To finalize this post, I decided to save the best for last which of course would be Judy Garland's performance of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" which originated in the musical Meet Me in St. Louis.  The movie is about a family who very much loves their hometown of St. Louis and has just found out they will be moving to New York City.  The daughters all prepare for the move in different ways, and in this scene, Judy Garland is singing to her character's little sister, trying to convince her that everything will be okay.



I hope you enjoyed these Christmas music clips from the movies!

25 Christmas Films for December 25th!

by Jack Garcia

It's time for Christmas movies!!  I hope you enjoy my countdown of my own personal favorites... and be sure to let me know yours in the comments section below!

25.  Christmas with the Kranks (2004)

“You’re skipping Christmas?  Isn’t that against the law?”  I know this movie is pretty stupid, but I like it for some reason.  Maybe because Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis are funny… or maybe because this list of 25 had to start somewhere.

24.  I’ll Be Home for Christmas (1998)

This movie came out during my Jonathan Taylor Thomas phrase when I had a huge secret crush on him.  Now it’s just one of those 90s favorites that I have to watch every year.

23.  Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

Not as good as the first one, but I really love the slapstick humor of the Home Alone movies.  I never grow tired of seeing Harry and Merv get their butts kicked.  Oh, and this one has Tim Curry in it!  Awesome!

22.  Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas (1997)

21.  While You Were Sleeping (1995)

“$45 for a Christmas tree and they don't deliver?  You order $10 worth of chow mein from Mr. Wong, they bring it to your door.”  Maybe this isn’t really a “Christmas” movie per se and more of a romantic comedy, but it does take place at Christmas time and it’s all about love and family!

20.  Home Alone (1990)

“This is Christmas.  The season of perpetual hope.  And I don't care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike.  If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.”

19.  White Christmas (1954)

18.  Prancer (1989)

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this movie, but I still remember it!  It tells the tale of a young girl who finds an injured reindeer who she thinks belongs to Santa.  It’s very endearing.

17.  Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983)

“Remember, Scrooge, you fashioned these memories yourself,” says Jiminy Cricket as the Ghost of Christmas Past.  This version of the Dickens classic isn’t feature length, but it sure is fun!  Scrooge McDuck plays Ebenezer and Mickey plays Bob Cratchit in this Disney animated treat!

16.  Arthur Christmas (2011)

This is the newest movie on the list, but I really enjoyed it and I know that I’ll be watching it annually now come Christmastime!  Be sure to read my review!

15.  Elf (2003)

14.  Love Actually (2003)

“If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around.”  This movie is about eight different couples during the holiday season in England and it’s full of good moments and a stellar British cast.  Hugh Grant, Bill Nighy, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Keira Knightley and others really sparkle in this romantic comedy.

13.  The Holiday (2006)

Like Love Actually, this one is another Christmas “chick flick” but I really love it!  Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz play two women unhappy with their lives who agree to swap houses during the holidays… and sometimes I wish I could do the same!  Jack Black and Jude Law also star.

12.  The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

11.  Miracle on 34^th Street (1947)

In 1994 they did a remake of this holiday classic, but don’t watch it!  Stick to the original!  The old man who plays Santa in the Macy’s parade is institutionalized as insane, a lawyer defends him by saying he’s the real Santa and a young girl teaches us all to believe again.

10.  A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

“I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus.  Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy.  I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel.  I just don't understand Christmas, I guess.  I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy.  I always end up feeling depressed,” Charlie Brown laments.  Later Linus recites the story of Christ’s birth and says, “That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.”

9.  The Santa Clause (1994)

This movie caused me to misspell Santa’s last name for years!  It’s C-L-A-U-S without an “e.”  A clause is a provision in a contract, making it a witty play on words in the title.  Anyway, spelling aside, I’ve always liked this movie and watched it every year growing up.  All the many sequels need to die though…

8.  It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

“You see George, you've really had a wonderful life.  Don't you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it away?”  Sometimes the holiday season can be a bit depressing, and it’s so good to remember just how wonderful are lives really are.

7.  Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (1964)

6.  How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)

Who doesn't love Dr. Seuss?  His books have inspired many animated shorts and full-length movies and the cartoon version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is probably the most popular one.  Don't watch the live-action remake with Jim Carrey, but rather the classic 60s version that tells of the Grinch who's heart was "two sizes too small."

5.  The Polar Express (2004)

I originally didn’t like motion capture and I was resistant to this film… but I eventually saw it and loved it.  Just as the book beautifully invokes a sense of magic and wonder, so does this film by Robert Zemeckis starring the voice of Tom Hanks.  I still hear the bell!

4.  A Christmas Carol (2009)

This is another movie by Robert Zemeckis using motion capture and a very faithful retelling of Charles Dickens’ holiday classic.  Jim Carrey does a terrific job as Ebenezer Scrooge and the animation is just fantastic to behold!  “God bless us every one!”

3.  National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

“Where do you think you're going?  Nobody's leaving.  Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.  No, no.  We're all in this together.  This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.  We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye.  And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.”

2.  The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

1.  A Christmas Story (1983)

“You’ll shoot your eye out!”  My family always watched this movie religiously, every year, multiple times, so this Christmas comedy had to be number one on my list.  Everything is so memorable to me, from the leg lamp to the Red Ryder BB gun to the fluffy pink bunny suit… and thanks to this movie, I knew better than to stick my tongue on a frozen flag pole!

Movie Reviews: A Shadowy Eve in Paris

by Jack Garcia

It's movie time!  Last Sunday Michelle, Brian and I went to see Midnight in Paris which finally made it to Orem, Utah after being released for six months.  I'm not the most patient guy, so movies that start off in "limited release" sometimes drive me crazy.  They are usually the best films and I instead waste my time watching movies like New Year's Eve... which you'll read about in just a second.  But at least I didn't have to wait long for the new Sherlock Holmes!

Midnight in Paris AWESOME!

In this comedy by director Woody Allen, Owen Wilson plays Gil, a talented Hollywood writer who’s struggling to write his very first novel.  The novel is about a man who runs a nostalgia shop, which mirrors perfectly the fact that Gil longs to live in the past.  Paris in the 1920s to be more exact.  He and his fiancée Inez (Rachel McAdams) are traveling with her parents, and while all Inez cares about is shopping with her mother or going out dancing with her friends, Gil falls in love with the French city and walks the streets at night.  It is then, at midnight, that he enters a world of yesteryear full of the greatest artists and writers the 1920s ever had.

This movie was positively delightful to watch, and the characters and their dialogue were so full of wit and insight that I found myself laughing quite freely while feeling enlightened at the same time.  Not the easiest thing to accomplish.  Gil’s time traveling is never really explained , which I thought was the film’s greatest strength, and the characters he meets there—Ernest Hemingway (Corey Stoll), F. Scot Fitzgerald (Tom Hiddleston), Gertrude Stein (Kathy Bates), Salvador Dali (Adrien Brody) and Picasso’s lover Adriana (Marion Cotillard)—were all robust historical caricatures while still showing their humanity.  Cotillard was fantastic in this film, as was Owen Wilson, and the final message that the lives of others aren’t necessarily better than our own was well received.  This is a terrific film for anyone who’s ever had writer’s block and needs a bit of inspiration from the masters.

New Year’s Eve AWFUL

If you want to see lots of movie stars—like I did—then this is definitely the movie to see.  There are a ton of celebrities including:  Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Robert DeNiro, Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Katherine Heigl, Jon Bon Jovi, Sofia Vergara, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michelle, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Josh Duhamel, Hilary Swank, Ludacris, Hector Elizondo and Ryan Seacrest… just to name a few.

However, if you want to see a movie that is funny or interesting or moving or good in any way at all, then this is not the movie to see.  While it’s kind of fun to see Lea Michelle and Jon Bon Jovi (playing a pretend rock star named Jensen… why?) sing a couple of songs, there’s not much going for this movie.  It’s not very amusing and when it tries to be emotional it falls flat.  The biggest problem it has is that with so many characters and storylines—and I use the term “storyline” loosely—none of them get any of the time necessary to make it compelling.

Bottom line:  If you want to see a lot of stars in one place, just watch the red carpet coverage of the next big awards ceremony or grab a celebrity gossip magazine next time you’re in the grocery store.  I guarantee you it will be more satisfying.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows  ADMIRABLE

Robert Downey Jr. is back at it again in this second installment of the Guy Ritchie twist on the Arthur Conan Doyle classic character.  This time Holmes and Watson (Jude Law) are up against Professor Moriarty, who is equally as intelligent as Holmes but with aims far more sinister.  Apart from toying with Holmes and threatening to kill Watson, he’s trying to start a world war now that he’s obtained control over all the weapons and bandages… a pretty ambitious goal for a university professor.  Also involved is a gypsy woman named Simza (Noomi Rapace) who fears her missing brother might be involved in Moriarty’s schemes.

This movie was a lot of fun to watch last night at the midnight showing with my friend Michelle.  The crowd laughed at the silly buffoonery of Holmes—like when he dressed in “urban camouflage” or donned a woman’s get-up—and applauded his astute observations and expert fighting techniques.  And let’s face it, these movies are fun to watch… especially the love/hate chemistry between partners Holmes and Watson.  Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. are the perfect bromance and these movies wouldn’t be successful at all without them.  That being said, the plot of A Game of Shadows wasn’t quite as interesting or thrilling as the original film and there were times that I honestly didn’t comprehend the purpose behind their actions.  It wasn’t until the final act that my adrenaline got going and things made sense… but that might have been the idea.

Television: Golden Globe Nominees Announced!

by Jack Garcia

The 69th Golden Globe Awards will air on January 15, 2012 on NBC and the nominees have been officially announced!  Of course everyone wants to know what Joaquin thinks about the nominees, so here we go:

• For Best Picture - Drama, two of the nominations are movies I haven't seen which makes me sad.  War Horse hasn't come out yet, so I guess it's not my fault, but The Descendents has been playing for a couple of weeks now just not in a theater near me.  Someday I hope to travel to The Broadway Theater in Salt Lake City to see it.  The other nominees I have seen and I love, including The Help, Moneyball, The Ides of March and my very favorite Hugo.  Fingers crossed for Hugo!
• For Best Picture - Comedy or Musical, there are once again two nominations that I haven't seen, also because they aren't in the Provo/Orem area.  These movies are My Life with Marilyn and The Artist, both of which are on my Most Anticipated Movies page.  Hopefully I can see all the nominees before the winners are chosen!  The other comedy nominees include three of my favorite films this year: 50/50, Midnight in Paris and Bridesmaids!
• For Best Animated Feature Film, pretty much every animated movie this year is nominated except for Kung Fu Panda 2 or Rio, which I actually liked more than Cars 2 or Puss in Boots which did get nominated.  The other three nominations I'm more impressed with:  Arthur Christmas, Rango and The Adventures of Tintin.  Tintin hasn't been released yet so I haven't seen it, but my current favorite for the win is Rango.  I loved that movie!
• I don't really watch drama series on television, so I don't know anything about those nominations!  I do have a friend that will be really excited to know American Horror Story was nominated though... Yes, Wes, I mean you.  But for Best Television Series - Comedy, my three favorite shows are all nominees:  Glee, Modern Family and New Girl.  This is New Girl's first season and I'm really excited to see it on the list!  The other two nominees, Enlightened and Episodes, I've never seen so I don't know what to say about them.
• As far as actors and actresses go, these are my favorites in their various categories:  Viola Davis for The Help, Leonardo DiCaprio for J. Edgar, Brad Pitt for Moneyball, Kristen Wiig for Bridesmaids, Joseph Gordon-Levitt for 50/50, Zooey Deschanel for New Girl, Sofia Vergara for Modern Family and Eric Stonestreet for Modern Family.

Can't wait for the Golden Globes!

The Gleek Critique: "Extraordinary Merry Christmas" Episode

Mercedes sings "All I Want for Christmas is You" to open Glee's Christmas special.

by Jack Garcia

Christmas is here!  And do you know what that means?  Holiday-themed episodes on television, and Glee was no different.  The night opened with Mercedes and the other club members singing and decorating the choir room's Christmas tree (or "Holiday Tree" if you live in Rhode Island) and it immediately evoked a spirit of fun and merriment to get the episode going.

Plot-wise, Coach Sue asked Artie, Kurt and Blaine to come into her office where she asked if the glee club would be interested in helping her at the homeless shelter.  The holidays remind her of the sister who passed away last year and Sue wants to keep busy so she doesn't think about how much she misses her.  The guys all agree that the glee club will help out.  Unfortunately, they all soon forget about their commitment with Sue when Mr. Schuester comes into the choir room announcing that the local PBS station wants them to do a televised Christmas special.  The kids are all ecstatic, and since Artie did such a great job directing the school's musical, he's the one chosen to direct the special.  (Just a side note, but the actual episode was directed by none other than Schuester actor Matthew Morrison.)

Aside from preparing songs for their second TV debut (let's not forget their mattress commercial in the first season), gift-giving also needs some attention.  Rachel has given Finn a detailed list of what she wants for Christmas, but the good-intentioned but often dim-witted Finn decides to deviate from that list.  He buys her some sort of pig that will feed a starving African village.  Very charitable, but not exactly the diamond earrings Rachel had in mind.  And speaking of people in faraway lands, Rory misses home and wishes that his family could afford to visit him from Ireland.  Sam understands him, seeing as his family is away in Kentucky, and the two become friends.

The Christmas special airs and it's a delightful throwback to 60s black-and-white television, complete with a sleek mid-century chalet as the setting where the very dapper Kurt and Blaine host some of their friends around the piano.  Another handful of songs are sung and some references to Star Wars are thrown in just for kicks.  Artie really is just a nerd at heart.  The special is supposed to end with Rory retelling the story of Frosty the Snowman, but instead he improvises and tells the biblical story of Christ's birth.  The kids are touched, and they all head over to the homeless shelter to help out Sue and sing one last rousing number, tugging at our heartstrings like only Glee can.

The Pros:

• Who doesn't like Christmas songs?  Even the Jewish characters do!  Tonight's episode was filled with some very fun songs, my favorites including Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You," a Kurt and Blaine duet of "Let It Snow" (reminiscent of last Christmas' "Baby It's Cold Outside"), "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music (although hardly a Christmas song), and the 1984 Band Aid charity single "Do They Know It's Christmas?"  That last one will make you cry, unless your heart is two sizes too small...
• Also cool about "Do They Know It's Christmas?" is that all proceeds from the Glee cast version will be donated to the Band Aid Charitable Trust.
• The song "Extraordinary Merry Christmas" that the episode is named after is a Glee original!  Pretty cool, huh?  It was written by their executive music producer Adam Anders.
• Sue saying,  "I made plans to shoot reindeer out of a helicopter with Sarah Palin, but she cancelled."  That woman cracks me up!
• CHEWBACCA!  Ha ha!  Apparently they had to get special permission from George Lucas and use the only actor allowed to play Chewbacca.
• Artie:  "The phrase is 'Merry Christmas' not 'Morose Christmas.'"  That's right people, only happy songs!
• Kurt's introduction of Blaine as his "best friend and holiday roommate" was pretty funny.  I really thought those two were adorable all dressed in their retro tuxes.  I also have a soft spot for black-and-white, so the show-within-a-show was really my favorite part of the episode.
• I loved that Rachel named a pig after Barbra Streisand!  Ha ha!

The Cons:

• Even for Glee standards, Damian McGinty who plays Rory is not the greatest actor in the world.  And although I enjoy his voice, they haven't given him a song yet that really wows me.  At least he's not wearing green all the time anymore.
• I could have done without the Cheerios and their ribbon-dancing.  I'm not even a fan of that Waitress song "Christmas Wrapping" that they danced to...
• No more Glee for a while... the show is going on Christmas break.

The Gleek Critique: "Hold On to Sixteen"

New Directions performing a trio of Jackson songs at Sectionals.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

Finn realizes that New Directions doesn't have a chance at winning Sectionals.  His brilliant solution to this problem?  Hunt Sam Evans down and convince him to transfer back to McKinley!  It doesn't even matter that he's moved completely out of the state!  So he and Rachel convince Sam to come back (which means the real-life actor has decided to return to the show) and his parents agree.  For some reason.

Quinn continues on her psychotic mission to regain custody of her daughter.  The info Puck shared with her about he and Shelby's coitus is proving very useful.  If she can get Shelby fired, she'll be seen as an "unfit mother."  She's also trying to get back with Sam, which isn't working because he is determined to get back with Mercedes.

Sebastian shows up to flirt with Blaine again and he makes it very known to Kurt that he doesn't like him.  It's okay though, because Kurt doesn't like Sebastian either.  But they both like Blaine... and the game is on.  Not everybody likes Blaine though.  Finn seems to hate him, but when Blaine confronts him about it, he admits that he is really just jealous.  The two make amends and everything is good in the hood.

Mike's dad is still very opposed to his son pursuing a career in the arts, so Mike decides to apply for Stanford to make him happy.  But with a little coercion from Tina, Mike's father comes to Sectionals and is moved by his son's performance... causing a heartwarming (or gag-worthy?) change of heart.  And Mike's dad isn't the only one who loved New Directions.  The judges were impressed as well and they win the competition!

The Pros:

• Sam is back tonight!  And he came back naked!!  That's right.  Naked.  Well, almost naked.  He's been working as a male stripper...
• The sexiness continues when Blaine is seen boxing!
• "Buenos Aires" from the musical Evita was really fun!  That Glee Project winner is really good.  I liked the song she did in the first episode as well.
• I liked Shelby's advice to Quinn... and thank goodness it seems like she is actually following it!
• The Troubletones can do no wrong!  Their mash-up of "Survivor/I Will Survive" at Sectionals was fantastic!  Seriously, Mercedes and Santana should sing together all the time.  Over and over.
• The Asians got solos at Sectionals!  Ignoring how racist I just sounded, Tina never gets solos anymore so I was thrilled that she was featured as was Mike Chang.  Doing the Jackson Five's "ABC" followed by Janet Jackson's "Control" and Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" was a tremendous tour de force and I ate it all up!  Seriously, New Directions kicked butt tonight!
• Speaking of the New Directions, I love how they solved their low numbers by recruiting the random band kids that accompany them in the choir room.
• Their last song "We Are Young" made me happy inside... mostly because all of the kids were together again!

The Cons:

• A clown is judging Sectionals?
• Again... a clown? 
• Sue isn't to be seen... but we get a clown.

Movie Reviews: Happy Hugo and the Christmas Muppets

by Jack Garcia

So these are the first reviews I am writing after quitting the movie theater.  It’s very weird to no longer be a Cinemark employee.  Part of me misses it… maybe even a lot… but I am thoroughly enjoying my new paychecks!!  Two of these movies I saw with a friend who still works there (so they were free), but the other two I had to pay for.  Actually, scratch that.  Make that one.  I saw Hugo with family so that ticket price came out of somebody else’s pocket!

Anyway, the following movies are all family movies… one I absolutely LOVED!

Happy Feet Two ADMIRABLE

I don’t know what it is about these movies, but they make me happy inside.  I mean, there are cute penguins that sing and dance!  In the sequel to 2006’s Happy Feet, Mumble’s son Erik (voiced by a girl named Ava Acres) is struggling to find his own talent.  Will he be a dancer like his dad?  Or will he be a singer?  And while he’s trying to find his place in the world, he meets a penguin who can fly, giving him something more to aspire to.  Things get a little crazy though when an iceberg threatens to destroy their home.  All the penguins—including their human, krill and walrus friends—must work together to restore order.

The animation is top-notch and breathtaking at times.  The voices by Elijah Wood, Pink, Robin Williams, Sofia Vergara  and other stars were all very good, and I really liked some of the songs Pink sang.  Gosh, she has a great voice!  My favorite two characters though were the non-singing Bill and Will (Matt Damon and Brad Pitt), two tiny krill who were determined to change their destinies.  Their journey is an interesting one—one I found to be very poignant—and it’s the unconventional things like this that make me appreciate the Happy Feet movies.

That, and the singing.  Gotta love the singing.  This one even had some yodeling and opera thrown into the mix!

Hugo AWESOME!

This movie is definitely making it to my soon-to-come “fave fifteen” list of 2011.  I loved it!  Directed by Martin Scorsese and based off the book The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick, Hugo is a fantastic family film that is beautifully cinematic, magical, charming and profoundly moving.  The story is of a young orphan named Hugo (Asa Butterfield) who lives in a train station in 1930s Paris.  His job is to keep the clocks running, but in his spare time he tinkers with an abandoned automaton his father found before he died.  When he meets Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz)—who happens to have the missing key he needs for the robot—the two begin to uncover some secrets of the past revolving around the girl’s godfather Georges Méliès (Ben Kingsley).

And while it doesn’t sound like it from the plot description, the movie is a plea for film preservation and the perfect way to introduce today’s kids to the wonder of early cinema.  It’s also the story of a boy struggling to understand why he’s alone in the world and an old man wondering whatever happened to his life…  One of my favorite moments is when Hugo explains to Isabelle that he sees the world as one big machine.  “Machines never come with any extra parts,” he says.  “They always come with the exact amount they need.  So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part.  I had to be here for some reason.”

Arthur Christmas ADMIRABLE

Starring James McAvoy as the voice of the titular Arthur, this movie was a heck of a lot of fun and the final message was very well-received.  Arthur is the son of Santa (Jim Broadbent)—yes, the Santa—and he lives at the North Pole along with his mother (Imelda Staunton), brother Steve (Hugh Laurie) and crazy Grandsanta (Bill Nighy).  Steve is ambitiously revolutionizing the toy delivering system with state-of-the-art electronic gadgets and a well-trained crew of elves.  He hopes his father will retire soon and pass on the job to him, but when a tiny glitch causes just one little girl to be forgotten, it’s up to Arthur, Grandsanta and an elf named Bryony (Ashley Jensen) to save the day.

The character of Grandsanta is a hoot to watch and McAvoy infuses Arthur with a wonderful naiveté and earnestness.  The movie teaches us that it doesn’t matter how the presents get under the tree, just as long as no child is forgotten.  It also deals with family relationships among three generations of men and the trouble with passing the old over in favor of the new.

The Muppets AVERAGE

I was hoping to like this movie more than I did, but it was still pretty fun to watch and a welcome treat to have the Muppets back on the big screen again after 12 years.  The story is of a young puppet-boy named Walter (Peter Linz) who grew up feeling very different from his human brother Gary (Jason Segel) in their small town.  But when he discovered old episodes of The Muppet Show from the 70s, he felt like he connected with them.  Gary invites Walter to tag along on a trip to Hollywood he and his girlfriend Mary (Amy Adams) have been planning.   There they discover that an evil oil tycoon (Chris Cooper) is threatening to destroy the Muppet theater unless they can come up with enough money to save it.  The three embark on a mission to reunite all the Muppet characters including Kermit, Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy to put on a telethon, save the theater and become stars again.

The movie began on a very high note for me, with lots of silly over-the-top musical numbers and plenty of laughs, but then dragged in the middle (oddly enough when the Muppets came in).  There are many celebrity cameos and a strong sense of nostalgia, but overall the movie seemed to be lacking something.  Perhaps it was due to the fact that this is the first theatrical movie to not have the voice of Frank Oz, so some of the characters—Miss Piggy especially—sounded a bit off.

The Gleek Critique: "I Kissed a Girl" Episode

The girls sing Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl."  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

The lesbian focus on Glee continues with tonight’s episode, where we see the immediate repercussions of Finn’s outing of Santana last episode.  In order to make it up to her, Finn lies to Principal Figgins and insists that Santana never really slapped him.  It was a stage slap.  Just pretend.  And aside from helping her to avoid any disciplinary action she might have received for her violent outburst, he and the other New Directions members showed their love and support for the lady-lovin’ latina by serenading her with songs written and sung by female artists.  Eventually Santana’s hard heart was softened, and bolstered with confidence she came out to her family.  We are told that her parents were accepting, but in a heartbreaking scene with her abuelita we see that not everybody is ready to handle her lifestyle choice.

Speaking of breaking hearts, Coach Beiste’s inability to communicate her feelings to her crush Cooter the Recruiter left the playing field wide open for Sue to snatch him up.  Sue’s only motivation for dating him is to boost her numbers in the polls—and to rub it in Beiste’s face.  Beiste is determined to fight for her man, and Sue’s tactics don’t even work out for her in the end.  She loses the election to Burt Hummel.

And while we are on the subject of elections, Kurt discovers he has won class president and is initially thrilled… that is, until he is pulled into the principal’s office for stuffing the ballot boxes.  Nobody believes he didn’t do it, until Rachel comes in and admits it was she who did the dirty deed.  Her punishment?  Suspension for a week, a mark on her permanent record and a ban from competing in Sectionals.

Oh, Puck and Shelby have sex too… just throwing that in there.

The Pros:

• Sue's list of "booty calls" was hilarious!  Dan Quayle (too needy), Steve Baldwin (train wreck) and Vladimir Putin (contact through Russian embassy) were some of the lucky men to find themselves in that little black book!
• I liked Finn's slowed down rendition of Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" and Santana's final number of K.D. Lang's "Constant Craving" the best this episode, although neither one of them was half as powerful as last episode's Adelle mash-up.
• "I Kissed a Girl" was pretty fun, and I liked how all the girls stood up for Santana.
• Finn acted very maturely!  Way to go!
• Coach Beiste sang for the first time!  That was a happy surprise, even if her rendition of Dolly Parton's "Jolene" was less than impressive.
• Santana is officially out of the closet now, which is a good thing I think.

The Cons:

• Somehow Santana's storyline wasn't as emotional as it was last episode...
• Puck told Quinn about he and Shelby, which is a very dumb move!
• After all the praise Kurt received for playing fair in the elections, I was surprised to see him consider stuffing the ballots.  It just didn't seem like something he would even think about.
• Kurt's weird half-sweater thing cut on the diagonal.  What happened to the rest of it?
• Has everyone forgotten the minimum number of show choir members necessary to compete in Sectionals?  Because neither New Directions nor Troubletones make the cut.

Movie Review: 'Hugo'

Rating: 5/5
by Brian Kesler

Martin Scorsese is known for tense character studies with strong, lasting images of violence. It seems curious, then, that his latest is a family adventure in 3-D. Once the movie comes to fruition, however, it is clear that it is probably the closest to Scorsese's heart.

The plot revolves around the true story of French pioneer filmmaker Georges Melies, whose work includes 'A Trip to the Moon,' in which we are treated to the famous shot of a rocket plunging into the eye of the man on the moon. This true story is flourished with the fantasy of a boy who lives in a clock tower in a train station with his automaton. A broken automaton, that is, and he's been trying relentlessly to fix it. He believes the automaton has a message for him from his dead father.

The plot relies on voyeurism through the eyes of the boy, and in many ways he plays the part of Oliver Twist: a central character whose only purpose is to guide us through a labyrinth of peculiar and over-the-top characters. The only difference is that Hugo Cabret has dimension and Oliver Twist does not. Asa Butterfield is delightful as Hugo, with just enough underplaying to make him empathetic rather than sympathetic. He befriends Isabelle, played by breakout child actress Chloe Grace Moretz ('Kick Ass' anyone?). Isabelle loves reading and using large words without necessarily knowing what they mean. Her Godfather, Melies, played extraordinarily by Ben Kingsley, doesn't allow her to see movies. At one point, Hugo asks her, "Do you want to go on an adventure?" Her eyes light up, and he takes her to a movie, and she is absolutely entranced.

That's what the film is really about, you see ... movies. A love of early cinema. It's based on the novel, "The Invention of Hugo Cabret," the illustrations of which are almost like storyboards. The book was designed with the purpose of teaching children about early film and the importance of film preservation, and the movie follows suit, an issue that is of utmost importance for Scorsese, whose been at the forefront of film preservation for many years. There are two scenes in the film that are haunting. One is a heartbreaking shot of all Melies's films being melted down and made into high-heeled shoes. The other is a line of dialogue spoken by Hugo, in which he talks about a person losing their purpose, as Melies feels he has with the loss of his pictures. In real life, Melies really did work as a toy-store owner during his later years, broke and forgotten by everyone. Thanks to film preservation, many of Melies's movies have been found and pieced back together, allowing his unique imagination to be shared by any Netflix subscriber alive.

What makes 'Hugo' entrancing is that it is a magical film about the magic of film. Shots of people watching Melies's films with wide eyes and enormous grins brings tears. It is so lovingly crafted by a man who wonders at the magic of filmmaking. There's never been anything like the movies before, and there never will be. I have always been skeptical of 3-D, but this film does it absolutely right. What intrigued Melies about the movies was the special effects, after all, and a 3-D film about his life actually feels kind of right.

From the Queue: 'Smiles of a Summer Night'

by Brian Kesler

Ingmar Bergman's classic black-and-white Swedish film about male vanity and feminine manipulation doesn't waste a single frame of celluloid. Everything is tightly controlled, from the angle of the camera, to the length of each shot, and even the lighting. The dialogue has equal importance and the entire thing comes together to create one of the great lush romantic comedies in the style of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream.'

Lawyer Fredrik Egerman has a new, young wife: Anne. Anne is delightful, gorgeous, and full of energy. She's also the same age as Fredrik's son, Henrik, who has just returned from seminary in hopes to become a priest. He says gloomy, religious things like, "You can't prevent the birds from flying above your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair." The household has a young bisexual maid who fancies all three of her masters and makes it her mission to spoil the righteousness of gloomy Henrik. Of course, when the moment comes, Henrik cries, "We have sinned. And it was a complete failure." Anne looks lovingly at old Fredrik as he sleeps until he unconsciously mutters the name, "Desiree." Desiree happens to be the name of an actress, "The One and Only," the posters say. Fredrik is eager to see her latest show when it comes to town. When they see the show, The One and Only Desiree Armfeldt gives a glance in Fredrik's direction. "Why did she stare at us?" Anne demands, and quickly insists that they leave. It is then revealed that Anne is still a virgin, even through a year and a half of marriage with old Fredrik. When they come home from the theater, they find they've interrupted Henrik's failed sin with the maid.

And this is the moment that Fredrik looks around and realizes he's living with a group of young, hormonal kids at the peak of their sexual discovery. Whether excited by it, or frightened by it, they are all preschoolers. He needs to get out, and he goes to see that actress whom, it is learned, he'd had a liaison with many years ago. The dialogue between the two is relieving. At last, two adults unafraid and unembarrassed and unamused about the nature of sexuality. The joke is soon on them when Fredrik falls in a puddle and wears Desiree's lover's nightshirt as they wait for his clothes to dry. The lover won't be by, Desiree explains, he's a dragoon and can only visit when he has leave. Turns out, he had leave. He peacocks in, "Five hours with you, three hours with my wife," he explains. A duel for the actress's passion ensues between the two men, one vain and cocky enough to discuss his mistress openly with his wife, the other who loves his wife as a novelty and doesn't wish to hurt her.

The men are the peacocks, and the women are the manipulators. The dragoon's wife tells Anne of Fredrik's midnight rendezvous with the actress and the two plot to get their men back, "Men are horrible, vain and conceited, with hair all over their bodies." Desiree has other plans. She wants Fredrik permanently. She devises a weekend at her mother's country estate, inviting Fredrik and co. and the dragoon and spouse. Her mother inquires about the invitees, "If they're actors, they'll have to sleep in the stables." Desiree explains to a suspicious mother, "For once I was truly innocent." "It must have been early in the evening," says Mother.

The rest involves an ancient wine infused with a stallion's sperm that induces the drinkers with lustful thoughts; a suicide attempt by Henrik: "Dear God, please let the bird's nest in my hair," he pitifully begs; a shocking elope; a plot from the women against the men; an epiphany; an affair; and a tense game of Russian roulette. And of course, the three smiles of the summer night.

'Smiles of a Summer Night' is of a genre long gone, a genre in which a group of coupled lovers switch, have affairs, compete for affection, and end up in the most convenient place for all concerned, all with a light brevity and lush atmosphere. The costumes are lavish and the locations and sets gorgeous. This is the film that solidified Ingmar Bergman as a true filmmaker. It was an enormous success in the foreign market in the 50s, but didn't have the same success in the United States until after the censorship board was dismantled. It's the kind of movie that makes you wish you were born in that time and place. A time when the country was still green and full and the roads were paths of dirt. A time when houses were built with style and people dressed with formality. A time when middleclass families had maids and ate home cooked meals and read books and went to the theatre. No television or celebrities or billboards along the roads to clutter their minds. A simple time when people took pleasure in very simple things, like tending to the garden. How sad that in today's world, such a life seems romantic.        

Movie Reviews: Breaking Immortals

by Jack Garcia

The big movie last weekend was Immortals and this weekend is all about the newest Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn Part 1.  Neither one of them is really my cup of tea, but out of the two, I definitely enjoyed Breaking Dawn more.  I saw it at the midnight showing last night with my friend Michelle and we had a blast!

Immortals AWFUL

Henry Cavill is Theseus, a mortal man touched by the gods and destined to be a hero.  The evil King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) is set to take over Greece and unleash the Titans.  Phaedra (Freida Pinto), the virgin oracle, sees visions of the future and she guides Theseus in his quest, ultimately falling in love with him and giving up her gift.  She’s kind of a skanky virgin oracle.  And while you might think Zeus (Luke Evans) would be of some help, he’s actually very wimpy.  He commands all of the other gods not to get involved, and when they do, they all get their butts kicked by the titans.  Thankfully Theseus is there to save the day.  Or something.

This movie is visually stimulating with the rock-hard pecs, creative set pieces, lavish costumes and in-your-face show-offy computer-animated spectacle.  And again, I mention the rock-hard pecs.  However, all of this eye candy is ultimately devoid of any real human emotion or relevance.  While the plot is somewhat interesting, the motivations behind the actions are never quite there and the non-stop barrage of tactless slaughter eventually grows tiresome.  You never care about a character enough to lament their decapitation, and the sight of powerful Greek gods being brutally murdered by titans is probably the most depressing thing you will ever see.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 AVERAGE

Following in Harry Potter’s footsteps, Breaking Dawn is hitting theaters in two parts.  The first part—although scorned by movie critics worldwide—was actually a lot better than I thought it would be.  Our pouty-faced heroine, Bella (Kristen Stewart), is marrying the love of her life Edward (Robert Pattinson).  Maybe I should say “love of her un-life” because he is technically dead.  Anyway, the two go off on a romantic honeymoon on a remote island off of Brazil and Bella is very happy to consummate the marriage, even if sex with a vampire involves a broken bed, lots of bruising, and a pregnancy.  Yes, I said pregnancy, and the baby seems to be killing her from the inside… no bueno.  Bella’s other lover Jacob (Taylor Lautner) is terribly upset and determined to kill whatever it is growing inside her.  That is, until he imprints—which is kind of hard to explain and you really just have to be “in the know.”

Breaking Dawn Part 1 ends on a cliff-hanger just after the climactic birth of Bella’s child.  While most of the movie is cheesy and riddled with teenage angst or strange werewolf telepathy, once Bella gets pregnant the story really goes into a much creepier direction than what we’ve become accustomed to.  And do you know what?  I liked it!  Finally, a movie about a girl in love with a blood-sucking vampire got a little, well, gross…  and it should be! 

Bella, drinking blood to satiate the fetus’ thirst, talks about how delicious it is with blood-stained teeth and dripping mouth.  The audience cringes.  When the sickly looking Bella finally goes into labor, we are treated to one of the most horrific scenes in Twilight history as Edward rips her stomach open with his teeth, pulling the baby out of her bloody guts...  So delightfully creepy!  Go check it out!

From the Queue: 'Network' (1976)

by Brian Kesler

Television has made mindless droids out of millions of people. It's a noisy, passive clutter of advertisements, propaganda, and naive stories and situations, glorifying and capitalizing on violence, infidelity, and vague caricatures of human beings. And how brilliant. If you don't like a program, simply change the channel. There are literally hundreds of options. Television networks make their living on ratings and they'll do just about anything, sink to unnatural, ungodly lows, in order to achieve good ratings and gain more shares. In 'Network,' Faye Dunaway plays a television executive with just that intention.

Howard Beale is a news anchor for a failing network and his show is in the tanks. He is told that he only has two more shows left. He uses the opportunity to declare on live television that he will commit suicide during the broadcast of his last show. This scene is so outrageously, sinfully funny because of the dreadful seriousness in which it is played. None of the people on set or in the editing room even realize the death threat because they're busy saying, "and cue howard," "be ready to cut to a wide shot," "do we have the commercial reel ready?" After a few hilariously calm minutes, the script supervisor finally says, "Did you hear what Howard said? He said he was going to kill himself next week." Of course, they should fire him without having a final episode. But, wonders Dunaway's character, Diana Christensen, what would the ratings look like for a live suicide?

Beale doesn't kill himself, but his show is a hit, because of his manic behavior. His anger and vehemence against the conservative government and big corporations, with his ability to say whatever he wants, causes the network to become number one in the world, peaking at the classic scene in which Beale utters his famous line, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" causing a movement of people screaming the creed out their windows.

Peter Finch as Beale is wonderful, but we never see him aside from his speeches on television. To us, he is just the messianic prophet, so to speak, to reach the television goers of America. But, do we listen? He even rants in front of a live audience for people to turn off their television sets, yet they go on watching, ratings going up, shares going up, executives getting richer. Soon, the show gets a bigger budget, a segment with a psychic, a group of assassins, and a far left radical group doing real bank robberies and abductions for a cameraman. It gets a jazzy theme song and a heavenly stained glass window framing Beale as he greets an impressionable crowd.

Amidst the chaos is ex-television executive Max Schumacher, played by legendary William Holden, who is fired for attempting to stop Beale's number one hit show. He begins a relationship with Christensen, and must explain to his wife that he's leaving her. He tells her that life is not like television, and not to expect him to be back in her arms by the end of the show. Beatrice Straight plays his wife, appearing only in this scene, less than six minutes long, and she won an Academy Award for it. She plays the desperate wife for a bit, than the angry wife, unmerciful: "After 25 years of building a home and raising a family and all the senseless pain that we have inflicted on each other, I'm damned if I'm going to stand here and have you tell me you're in love with somebody else. Because this isn't a convention weekend with your secretary, is it? Or - or some broad that you picked up after three belts of booze. This is your great winter romance, isn't it? Your last roar of passion before you settle into your emeritus years. Is that what's left for me? Is that my share? She gets the winter passion, and I get the dotage? What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to sit at home knitting and purling while you slink back like some penitent drunk? I'm your wife, damn it. And, if you can't work up a winter passion for me, the least I require is respect and allegiance.." Ironically, he does end up back in her arms.

Dunaway represents the "television generation." A generation that has seen life through a tube since they were children and now have a skewed sense of how to live it. She is unable to connect on any sort of human level, even with her savvy charms. In a very funny scene, she and Holden make love as she continues talking about how shares have gone up, what is expected of the show, and a new series the network is working on. She is a quick manipulator and knows how to get what she wants (she was taught by the best: television). She needs Schumacher, needs to have some sort of physical connection with another human being. But, she is unable to rid herself of television's addiction.

The movie climaxes when, suddenly speaking in defense of big business, Beale's ratings have dropped and the head of the company refuses to cut the show. In order to save their ratings, a group of executives, including Christensen, decide the best course of action is to kill Howard Beale. They'll have the assassins from their other show do the deed, and then they can rebroadcast it for added ratings. The scene is funny and chilling. Nobody seems to tiptoe around the issue or question the validity of the proposition. It is simply stated. Like reading a report or coming up with a new storyline for a soap opera. "Well, the issue is: Should we kill Howard Beale, or not?"

'Network' is dark satire. A warning of society's dependence on television. So, after thirty-five years, did it predict well? Youtube has taken over. Thirty minute sitcoms were too much of a time commitment. There are millions of hits on videos little more than a minute in length of girls singing out of pitch in their closets, animated stick figures shouting a word or two, and cats climbing walls. Video games put you in the driver's seat, but the stories and characters have been replaced with mindless violence and noisy jumping. Kids will play 'Angry Birds' for hours on end, and what mental stimulation do they gain? Flipping the channels is not enough. We watch t.v., listen to music (flipping through the playlist, of course), text, and fiddle around with our i-pads all at once. We are a nation of noise. We need constant noise at all times, or else we go crazy. It's addicting. 'Network' has never felt more prophetic than today. Read a book. Write. Think. Go out for a walk. Take a look at the world around you. Sit in silence and enjoy it. Get together with friends and leave your phone and any other distractions at home. Don't let television guide your lives. There are only more distractions to come. Ignore them.

The Gleek Critique: "Mash Off" Episode

Santana belts out some Adelle with Mercedes and Brittany.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

With both New Directions and the Troubletones competing at the upcoming sectionals, Mr. Schuester and Ms. Cochran decide that it would be fun to have the first ever McKinley High School Mash-Off.  Perhaps it will spark some friendly competition... or not-so-friendly.  Insults fly and soon the kids are battling it out not only vocally but grade school style with a game of dodge ball.  But things quickly turn from bad to worse when Finn calls Santana out on her homosexuality and everyone finds out.  How do they find out?  It's leaked in a campaign ad.

Speaking of campaign ads, Sue Sylvester is playing dirty, spreading ridiculous lies about Burt Hummel.  But she's not the only one.  Even in the campaigning for school president the students are getting vicious.  Everyone but Kurt that is.  Just like his father, Kurt plays fair.  Rachel is impressed with his ethics, and wanting to restore their friendship, she drops out of the race and encourages everyone to vote for Kurt.  Very cute.

After the kiss they shared, Puck is convinced that he is in love with Shelby and that the two of them should be together.  Shelby insists that the kiss was a mistake, but still lets Puck come over to see baby Beth.  During one visit, Puck comes clean about Quinn's plot to gain custody of the baby.  Shelby is upset and tells Quinn that she isn't allowed to see Beth anymore and that even though she got rid of her piercings and crazy hair color, she's still a lost little girl.

The Pros:

• Sue's hateful campaign ads about Burt Hummel's "baboon heart" and "donkey bride" were hilarious!  For as Sue says, "Winning is really about poo flinging."
• "You and I/You and I" was a pretty fun song.  Mostly because I don't think we've seen Matthew Morison and Idina Menzel sing a duet before.
• While a dodge ball war was a bit silly, I really liked the mash up they sang.  "Hit Me With Your Best Shot/One Way Or Another" was totally rockin.'
• Santana's character is one of my favorites and I really enjoyed her scenes this episode.  The very ending where she slapped Finn was so intense and quite possibly my very favorite ending to a Glee episode yet!
• Speaking of the end, the final song mashing up two of Adelle's songs "Rumour Has It" and "Someone Like You" was phenomenal!  I loved loved loved it!  I might have listened to it all week long leading up to tonight... just maybe.  Yes.  Yes, I did.  I love it!

The Cons:

• "Hot For Teacher" wasn't my favorite Glee number...  although some of Blaine and Mike's sexy dance moves were fun to watch.
• The hockey mullets make me want to vomit.
• You all know I love Kurt, but I found him to be a bit too preachy this episode for my tastes.
• No Glee next week?  Sad.

Movie Review: 'Immortals'

Rating: 2/5 
by Brian Kesler

Tarsem's 'The Fall' is one of the great movies from the last decade. It was gorgeous, imaginative and chock-full of delightful, odd, and empathetic characters. It seems almost unfathomable that 'Immortals' was directed by the same man. This is a film totally at odds with that gem. It's big, noisy, ugly, with a thin meandering plot and characters so underdeveloped, they might as well be played by androids.

Videogames, in many ways, have changed and reshaped the way movies are made. For the worse. Directors and producers take the storyboard more seriously than the screenplay. Who cares about a screenplay? It's purpose was once as a sturdy backbone in which all other elements of film were supported. Now, it's an outline for a string of over-the-top computer effects and videogame violence. Who cares if our hero has a personality? As long as he's got pecks as hard as rocks, a spear to impale countless enemies, and the ability to scream as macho as Dwayne Johnson's poodle, we're good.

We see shots of characters looking worried or sad and are asked to sympathize. What we need, instead, is dialogue in which something interesting is said at least once. Is it so hard? Old Hollywood had that one in the bag. Even horrible dialogue was, at least, still interesting back then. 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' is one of the worst film's ever made, yet it's opening line, "Future events such as these will affect you in the future," seems like Shaw compared to this. There's nothing memorable about it. How long can you see the same shot of people being beheaded or impaled before it becomes tiresome?

And why are the Gods wimps? They get their asses kicked faster than the elementary student with labyrinthine wires protruding from his mouth. I'm just saying, you're asking me to be invested in characters whose only saving grace is their ability to fight like simulators and you make them cream puffs? Just sayin'.

Movie Review: 'J. Edgar'

Rating: 3/5
by Brian Kesler

J. Edgar Hoover is one of the most controversial men in American history, and for good reason. As head of the FBI, he secretly taped conversations and love affairs of Presidents, first ladies, senators, and so on. He never released this information, but held it in his "secret files," hinting at a shrewd kind of voyeurism. He claimed responsibility for the arrests of countless mobsters in the 20s and 30s, even though all were carried out by other agents. He deported Emma Goldman and several other revolutionaries from the early 20th century, even though they were United States citizens, and (although not explored in the film) played a big role in McCarthyism of the 1950s. Amidst all this, his personal life was plagued with rumors that he was a cross dresser and a homosexual.

This movie assumes that the second rumor is true. Historically, J. Edgar and fellow FBI agent, Clyde Tolson, worked very closely, ate lunch and dinner together nearly every day for 40 years, went to nightclubs together, held hands, and vacationed with one another in shared rooms. Neither married or had children. Tolson received Hoover's estate, accepted the flag from his casket, and was buried next to him. It's safe to assume they were lovers or, as this movie suggests, celibate life partners who were clearly in love but forced to hide it from the world.

Surprisingly, it's the personal story of a man failing to denounce his own homosexuality that keeps the film interesting. The historical aspects of his career are treated so textbook and with no structure. The film moves back and forth between Hoover in the 30s and Hoover in the 60s, but does so inconsistently. 'The Godfather: Part II' is a much better film that takes place in two polarized decades. There is a scene-by-scene correlation in that film that helps us accept jumping back and forth between the two. I would've liked this film to play chronologically with, maybe, brief flashbacks of Hoover's relationship with his mother.

That's another interesting aspect of the film. Judi Dench plays Hoover's mother with as much greatness as ever. When a stuttering Hoover attempts to tell her of his homosexuality, she stops him before he gets a chance and tells him, "I'd rather have a dead son than a daffodil for a son." He worships her. Lives with her for the majority of his life. She is disappointed when he fails to find the kidnapped son of Charles Lindbergh until it is too late, saying, "That baby's blood is on your hands." She hates communists and immorality and keeps a tight grip on her son who, as she says, will "restore our family to greatness."

There are some other delightful performances, including a violent sexual release between Tolson and Hoover (played by Armie Hammer and Leonardo DiCaprio, respectively), that are unfortunately drenched in clunky dialogue. Tolson, upset at Hoover's reproach from his love, throws a glass against a wall, shattering it. Hoover says, "Pick up that glass." Tolson says, "I've no reason to." This too-formal dialogue is very prevalent, especially in the horrific voice-over narration from DiCaprio that is neither genuine nor poetic. One wonders what happened between Dustin Lance Black's Academy Award-winning screenplay of 'Milk' and this sloppy script of incomprehensible dialogue.

Clint Eastwood's direction is consistent with his direction in the past. Stark, without much style, subtle, and observant. Eastwood doesn't take sides here. Hoover is neither glorified nor vilified. We simply observe his life and some fictional assumptions. His self-penned score sounds the same as his score from 'Hereafter' and 'Changeling,' light and touching without being sympathetic or sentimental. His inability to take sides dulls Hoover's character and makes him seem less a man and more a picture from a history book. 

I've one more complaint, though not about the film itself. Usually, I don't pay any bit of attention to MPAA Ratings, as they are a baseless resource of the content and context of a film. We don't put ratings on books or literature, so why do we subject film to this inconsistent form of discrimination? Anyone under the age of 17 is restricted to seeing this film because of "brief strong language," which includes one (1) usage of the word 'fuck.' That is it. For that reason this film is rated 'R,' even though countless PG-13 action films use that word at least once and go on to use many other profanities. No, the real reason this film is rated 'R,' though not stated for PC reasons, is because of the homosexual content, which includes one (1) genuine and serious kiss between two men. This is a clear indication of homophobia from the MPAA. This film, though not great, has more to say on life and humanity, and is a better influence for teenagers than the crude and braincell-killing PG film, 'Jack and Jill.'

Movie Reviews: It's Time for Rum with J. Edgar in Boots

by Jack Garcia

I haven’t posted a movie review in a really long time and I’m really sorry!  Please forgive me!  I’ve been busy with school and work and writing a novel… but I’m sure nobody cares to hear my excuses.  I will say, however, that I might make more of an effort to go see movies if the movies were a bit more exciting.  Oh well.

In Time AVERAGE

Justin Timberlake—who I may or may not be in love with—stars as Will Salas in this fun sci-fi flick written and directed by Andrew Niccol.  The premise is a world where time is literally money and nobody physically ages past 25.  Will is poor, therefore meaning that he lives day by day.  That is, until he meets a man who’s got centuries of time left and gives it all to Will.  With all the time in the world, Will leaves the ghetto and meets Sylvia Weis (Amanda Seyfried), the daughter of a wealthy man with eons of time.  Together, the two of them become anarchists intent on disrupting the system, stealing time from the wealthy and giving it the poor. 

Cillian Murphy plays a “time keeper” intent on stopping Will, and he’s probably the most fascinating to watch.  He really is a very talented actor.  Timberlake and Seyfried are decent but I feel like I’ve seen them do better work in other pictures.  While the premise is very interesting and some of the action sequences are cool and even nerve-wracking, the dialogue gets to be a little too clichéd for the majority of the movie.  There are way too many time puns!  However, I still found myself enjoying the movie, even if the execution never quite lived up to the idea in Andrew Niccol’s head.

The Rum Diary AVERAGE

Johnny Depp plays American journalist Paul Kemp in this Bruce Robinson film based on the novel by Hunter S. Thompson.  Kemp takes a job in Puerto Rico writing for a dying newspaper in the 1950s and quickly becomes fond of rum.  While there he meets Sanderson (Aaron Eckhart), a shady real estate developer, and his girl Chenault (Amber Heard) who eventually help him to discover his own morals.  Or something like that.  There’s also his pal Sala (Michael Rispoli) and a very strange man named Moburg (Giovanni Ribisi).

In my opinion, the film suffers from a lack of focus.  Several storylines and characters come and go into Kemp’s life without any real weight or purpose.  Some of the characters are very colorful and the locations are vibrant even when dirty and disgusting, but overall the movie just doesn’t have any emotional relevance or punch.  Not even Johnny Depp could save this one…

Puss in Boots AVERAGE

Antonio Banderas is back as the voice of Puss in Boots who the world first met in Shrek 2.  And while Dreamworks may have gotten the hint that four Shrek movies is one or two too many, that doesn’t seem to have stopped them from doing a Shrek spin-off by giving Puss his very own movie without the big green ogre.  And while it’s not the greatest thing to come out of their animation studio, it was enjoyable enough. 

Puss runs into Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek) who happens to be working for his old friend Humpty Dumpty (Zach Galifianakis) who is obsessed with finding the magic beans that will take them to the giant’s castle where the mythical golden goose resides.  Putting their checkered past behind them, they work together against the murderous Jack and Jill (voiced by Billy Bob Thornton and Amy Sedaris) to steal the beans, climb the beanstalk and embark on the adventure of a lifetime.  And just as to be expected with Dreamworks, true character development is shortchanged for adult low-brow humor and the outcome is a movie that’s ultimately forgettable and never quite as magical as it could have been.

J. Edgar AWESOME!

Leonardo DiCaprio stars as the fascinating historical figure J. Edgar Hoover in this biopic by director Clint Eastwood.  The film cuts back and forth between an aged Hoover dictating a book on the FBI’s history and the younger Hoover starting the organization from scratch.  We see the initial opposition to the bureau, some of its early successes including the Lindbergh kidnapping, and some of the drastic measures Hoover took to ensure the ultimate success of the bureau and to protect his image.  The film also explores J. Edgar Hoover’s closeted homosexuality by beautifully depicting his relationship with his mother Annie (Judi Dench), his secretary Helen Gandy (Naomi Watts) and most importantly the close relationship he had with his friend and protégé Clyde Tolson (Armie Hammer) with whom J. Edgar dined both lunch and dinner every day of his life.

I absolutely loved this movie and found it to be a fascinating portrayal of such an important player in American history.  Dustin Lance Black wrote a terrific screenplay and Clint Eastwood is a superb director and I found they both handled the subject matter with care and precision.  Of course the cast was superb, including the renowned Judi Dench who seems to be the perfect choice for any role.  Leonardo DiCaprio continues to be one of the greatest American actors in our day and age, embodying Hoover with a great underlying vulnerability beneath the passionate leadership.  Armie Hammer is relatively new to the acting scene and proves with this movie that he is one to keep an eye on.