The Gleek Critique: "Goodbye" Episode

Santana and her mother (Gloria Estefan) on Glee.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

In the Season 3 Finale of Glee, we say "goodbye" to several of our favorite characters (although temporarily because most of them are rumored to return next season) as they graduate from McKinley High School.  So what are everyone's future plans?

Well, Mercedes is off to Los Angeles to sing backup for an Indie label and Mike is going to be dancing in Chicago.  Quinn is off to Yale, but not before saying a tearful goodbye to Coach Sue and giving Puck one final kiss.  That kiss gave Puck the moxy he needed to pass his Geography test and therefore scrape up enough credits to graduate.  Now it's off to California to clean pools.

Not everyone will be graduating though.  Brittany, the lovable ditz with the best one-liners, has a 0.0 GPA and is being held back a year.  Santana discovers this while the couple are having dinner with Santana's mother, Maribel (Gloria Estefan), at Breadstix.  She's upset that Brittany will be stuck in Lima for another year... and she's also unsure of her own future plans.  She's been accepted on a cheerleading scholarship to Louisville, but her heart is set on being a performer.  Ultimately she decides to go to New York and pursue being an actress, and her mother supports her decision.

Not everyone will be going to New York either.  Finn, Rachel and Kurt are all awaiting their acceptance letters and when they arrive they wait to open them all together.  Finn goes first and is sad to learn that he wasn't accepted into The Actor's Studio despite what he thought was a good audition.  Kurt has equally depressing news:  he wasn't accepted into NYADA.  Rachel is last to open her letter and after all the disappointment she feels guilty to say that she was accepted.  Despite her flopped audition, it looks like Carmen Tibideaux gave her a second chance after all.

So what will Kurt do now?  He's going to stick around for a year and audition again.  He and Blaine had earlier decided not to split up despite Kurt's moving away, so now they won't have distance as an obstacle anymore.  But one couple does split up, and it's the biggest shocker of the episode.

Finn is driving Rachel to what she thinks is her wedding when they pull up at the train station instead. He tells her that she's going to New York to scout out apartments and tour her new school.  Her dads are meeting her there.  She's confused, telling him that she'll wait to go to New York when he's accepted into The Actor's Studio, and that's when he drops the bomb that he's enlisted in the army and he's going to Georgia.  He loves her, but he can't marry her.  He loves her, but he can't get in the way of her dreams.  So it's with a sad farewell that Finchel breaks up.  The episode ends with Rachel boarding the train and arriving in New York City.

A perfectly bitter-sweet ending to the season.

The Pros:

• Aw... the original glee club kids sang "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat" again!  Just like in the pilot! :)
• Burt Hummel is the best dad ever.  The end.  His "Single Ladies" dance was hilarious and awesome all wrapped up into one.
• Finn and Puck's "Glory Days" by Bruce Springsteen was a great graduation song.  And I gotta say, I wish more graduation ceremonies were like the Glee graduation ceremony.  There was so much musical energy!  My high school graduation was a snore...
• Kurt sang Madonna's "I'll Remember" as his final farewell to the New Directions.  It was good and I was happy that he and Blaine are still together.  I love them.
• The Quinn/Puck kiss made me happy!  Those two need to get together again.  They were good for each other I think.  None of this Quinn/Joe crap.  Blegh.
• "You Get What You Give" by New Radicals and "In My Life" by the Beetles were good songs.
• Mr. Schuester hasn't sung in a while and I liked his "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart.  It had kind of a country feel and it was very touching.
• Roz Washington always cracks me up!  And her plan to join forces with Sue to bring down Principal Figgins next season sounds pretty interesting... hee hee.
• I'm glad Glee went the realistic route and Finn didn't get into The Actor's Studio.  There is no way in hell that would happen...
• The breakup wasn't necessarily a positive thing, but I thought the scene was one of Glee's best dramatic moments.  It was simply shot with no annoying piano accompaniment and I thought the actors performed very well.  It was heartbreaking, but it had to be done.  On that note, Rachel's final song ("Roots Before Branches" by Room For Two) was the perfect ending to the episode and I can't wait to see what she does in New York City.  You're a star, Rachel Berry.  You can do this.

The Cons:

• I wanted a Kurt/Blaine kiss and I didn't get it.  What a bummer.
• I thought I would cry more than I did, but I guess they are all coming back next season anyway.  This episode really could have been better.
• I feel really bad for Kurt.  He nailed his audition and got really high praise, so that rejection letter must have really blindsided him. 
• Gloria Estefan's special appearance was fun and all, but I wish she would have sang.  Her acting is only so-so.

The Gleek Critique: "Nationals" Episode

Will and Emma on Glee. Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

The kids are in Chicago and things aren't going so well.  Mercedes is sick, the boys are all fighting, Puck is trying to study and Quinn's newly rehabilitated legs are struggling with the dance moves. Will is really worried that the kids won't win and he can't bear the thought of a second Nationals defeat.  And to make things worse, Jesse St. James is harassing Rachel and she's just stressed that Ms. Tibideaux isn't there to watch her perform.  Luckily she has Finn to cheer her up with a Chicago glass mug that he plans on smashing at their upcoming Jewish wedding.

Now it's time for the competition!  New Directions performs first in what they call "the death slot" but they pull it together and perform amazingly well!  And after a pep talk from Kurt and Mercedes, the drag queen Unique is the star of the Vocal Adrenaline performance.  The celebrity judges include blogger Perez Hilton, actor Rex Lee and actress Lindsay Lohan, desperately trying to make a comeback.  She's devastated to find out the event isn't televised nor does she get a spinning judge's chair like on NBC's The Voice.  After a comedic debate, the winners are announced:  Unique wins MVP but Vocal Adrenaline as a whole gets second place.  Who gets first?  NEW DIRECTIONS!

The kids are ecstatic and they return to McKinley High as champions.  Instead of slushies in the face they get confetti thrown at them.  Everyone is kissing and hugging.  There's champagne and cake.  A giant trophy to put up in the choir room.  Finn made a bet with the hockey team that they would win so he's rolling in dough.  Sue gets to give a big ol' check to Figgins, securing her spot as Cheerios captain.  Hopeful lower classmen are asking for Rachel's autograph in the yearbook.  Emma Pilsbury decides she's ready to have sex with Will.  The good vibes just keep coming!

And to top off the happiness, Principal Figgins asks Rachel and Finn if the group will perform at the school's awards assembly where they present Mr. Schuester with the Teacher of the Year Award!  Oh, and how could I forget the other good news:  Ms. Tibideaux showed up and even Jesse told her that she should give Rachel a spot in NYADA.  We'll see what happens...

The Pros:

• I love the Troubletones!  You know, the short-lived all-girl group they formed earlier this season...  Anyway, I love them and I loved their version of Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory."  I even love the random female backup dancers that are in no way part of the glee club.
• The New Direction set list continued with a Rachel Berry solo, sung to Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" and then ended with a fantastic and rousing number of Meat Loaf's "Paradise By The Dashboard Light"!  It was so so so so good!
• Wade's female persona Unique shone once more as she led Vocal Adrenaline in their performances of Nick Minaj's "Starships" and The Who's "Pinball Wizard."  He really is something else... and he more than hinted that he'd be going to McKinley High next season.
• The "when it's finally time to have intercourse" pamphlet made me happy!  Yay!  Go Emma and Mr. Schue!  And I loved when Sue asked Emma, "Why do you look different?" after they did the deed.
• The group's cover of Grouplove's "Tongue Tied" was a fun soundtrack to their victory at Nationals and I really loved their rendition of Queen's "We Are the Champions."

The Cons:

• How the hell is Jesse St. James the director of Vocal Adrenaline anyway?  He was in high school two seasons ago.  Wouldn't he need some sort of degree?  But I did like his suit jacket. :)

The Gleek Critique: "Props" Episode

Will Schuester dressed as Coach Sylvester on Glee.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

Unique is now a show choir celebrity making Vocal Adrenaline all the more powerful when it comes to Nationals.  Sue wants Kurt to dress in a flapper's gown as Porcelina... and she's also making the choir use a bunch of dorky props like a welder's mask and leg warmers.  But even when Puck decides to take one for the team and dress in drag, it doesn't look like they have what it takes to beat their arch rivals.  In the end, however, they realize that their "unique factor" is their ability to come together as a team.

Being a team player isn't always easy to do though.  Tina is tired of being ignored in the glee club and she finally speaks her mind.  Rachel thinks she's being ridiculous, but Tina just wants to have her moment in the spotlight.  She wants to be Rachel.  And after a horrible trip and fall into a mall fountain, she IS Rachel!  What?  Yeah... it's trippy.  Rachel and Tina have switched places and so has everybody else.  Puck is Blaine and Blaine is Puck.  Finn is Kurt and Kurt is Finn.  Weirded out?  It gets weirder!  Artie and Santana have swapped.  Mercedes and Brittany have swapped.  Quinn and Sugar,  Mike and Joe, Sam and Rory, Mr. Schuester and Sue! WHAT IS GOING ON!?

Well, it was just a crazy hallucination, but it helps Tina realize that sometimes it's okay to sway in the background.  She's only a junior and she can shine next year.  So she encourages Rachel to speak to Carmen Tibideaux, the NYADA judge.  Rachel has already tried calling multiple times, so the two of them set out on a mini road trip to speak to her in person.  Rachel begs Ms. Tibideaux to see them perform in Chicago, but it doesn't seem like she's going to give Rachel the second chance she's asking for.


Meanwhile, Santana, Brittany and Mercedes find out that Coach Beiste is still with Cooter and they confront her about it in the teacher's lounge.  She tells them that she's given him a second chance, even though things aren't getting any better at home.  It takes Puck to have an emotional breakdown for her to realize that they both need to start believing in themselves.  You see, Puck gets into a fight with one of the hockey players when he calls Puck a "Lima loser."  After Beiste breaks up the fight and talks with Puck she makes the decision to finally leave Cooter for good. And sensing a kindred spirit in Puck, she talks his geography teacher into giving him a second chance on the final exam he bombed.

With Beiste in tow, the episode ends with the kids all on the school bus heading toward Chicago where they will compete in the National Show Choir Competition.

The Pros:

• Kurt dressed in drag in a Halloween flashback was awesome!
• Jason Mraz's "I Won't Give Up" performed by Rachel Berry was a nice start to the episode.  Despite what some haters say, I still love Rachel's voice!  I'm glad she's determined not to give up on her dreams!  (Although 14 messages to Tibideaux's voicemail is a little much...)
• Go Tina!  Demand some attention!  You're an original member!!  And didn't she kick some Celine Dion ass on "Because You Loved Me"?
• Seeing the characters all dressed like one another was pretty awesome!  So funny!  Blaine looks sexy with a mohawk!!  Ha ha.  It was even funnier than when Mr. Schue got sick and saw everyone as little children last season...
• "Cooter was in 21 Jump Street?  I didn't know he was an actor."  Oh Brittany.  You are so dumb and I love it!
• The fight scene was very well-done!  And Puck's breakdown scene in the locker room with Beiste was one of the most emotional scenes I've seen on Glee in a while.  Mark Salling did a great job with it.  I was literally in tears.
• Second-most emotional scene followed closely after when Beiste left Cooter.  The Beiste/Puck duet of Taylor Swift's "Mean" was perfect for their situations... and Beiste sounded a hell of a lot better on it than she did on "Jolene" earlier this season.
• Tina and Rachel come together on their little road trip to see Carmen Tibideaux and it's further solidified with their first duet together when they sing "Flashdance...What a Feeling."  Fun and adorable and it left the episode on a high note.  We are now ready for Nationals!

The Cons:

• Puck is one ugly woman!  Yeesh... "Some things can't be unseen" is right, Artie!
• Mullet-boy was one of the worst actors I've ever seen on Glee.  And that's saying something.

The Gleek Critique: Prom-asaurus

Tina, Santana and Brittany sing at prom.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

It's that time of year, kids!  PROM!  And Principal Figgins reminds Brittany that she's been neglecting her school president duties.  Her much overdue first act of business is throwing prom.  And the theme?  Dinosaurs!

When the prom nominees are announced, Rachel is a little upset that Finn is running for prom king along with his ex-girlfriend Quinn.  She's also still heartbroken about her ruined NYADA audition, so she's decided to throw an anti-prom party at a local hotel.  Kurt's all for it since he doesn't want a repeat of last year's prom, Blaine joins him since Brittany has banned him from wearing hair gel to prom anyway, Puck is in because he's tired of being thwarted in his attempts at spiking the punch and Becky tags along because she is upset about not being nominated for prom queen.  Unfortunately, there night doesn't seem to be too exciting...

Meanwhile at prom, the glee club is entertaining the crowds with popular numbers and everyone is having a good time.  Everyone except for Finn and Quinn who get into an argument in the bathroom.  He sees her standing out of her chair, which would be inspirational had she not been milking her handicap for pity votes.  He later yells at her to stand up and dance causing Sue to throw him out of prom.  He arrives at the anti-prom party to find Rachel looking stunning in her dress and the two decide to go to prom anyway.  The boys do too, leaving behind Puck and Becky to play strip poker.  After losing almost all of his clothes, Puck makes Becky's night by crowning her queen of the anti-prom party and the two leave arm-in-arm to join their friends at prom.

Quinn, feeling guilty about the way she's been acting after Rachel apologizes to her for being so jealous, works with Santana to rig the vote in Rachel's favor.  Finn and Rachel are crowned prom king and queen and all is happy at McKinley High.

The Pros:

• Principal Figgins:  “You have accomplished nothing except one memorandum written in crayon saying ‘Drill baby, drill.’"
  Brittany:  “Yeah, I no longer believe we should be drilling for babies."   
• The only song of the night that wasn't part of the prom entertainment was Rachel, Kurt and Blaine's rendition of Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry."  Rachel was dealing with some of her problems, and the boys were there to support her.  It was a good song.
• Brittany's takeover of the prom committee was pretty funny.  I love when she gets some extra screen time!  And her prom performance of Ke$ha's "Dinosaur" was amazing!  Nobody else but Brittany could have done that song justice!
• The rest of the prom night continued with "Love You Like a Love Song" by Santana and the girls, "What Makes You Beautiful" by some of the boys harnessing their inner boy band mojo, and ending with "Take Your Breath Away" sung by Santana and a standing Quinn.
• Sue to Joe:  "What are you looking at, Jar Jar Binks?"
• Both Kurt and Brittany rocking top hats!
• Adorably cheesy prom photos with a dinosaur.  What's not to like?
• Becky was front and center this episode and I like when she gets some screen time.  Her British inner monologue is always fun and I almost cried when Puck crowned her with the crown he made from a beer box... so sweet!
• Speaking of Puck, he was stripped down to boxers and one sock.  Very nice.
• Blaine:  "Freedom to use haircare products?  It's in the Bill of Rights."  And it was definitely awesome to see his wild and curly hair without gel!
• Next week's episode is two hours long!

The Cons:

• Some of the drama surrounding Quinn tonight seemed a little much... especially with the dramatic piano underscore.
• It was obvious that Quinn and Santana were going to lie about the winners, and once Finn was announced king it was even more obvious that Rachel was going to be the queen.  So why on earth was there a long dramatic pause before Figgins said her name?  We're not holding our breath in anticipation, Glee.  We saw it coming a mile away.

The Gleek Critique: "Choke" Episode

Puck rockin' out on Glee.  Image Property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

Tonight was an episode with not-so-happy endings, which is unusual for the sugary-sweet, brightly optimistic Glee...

Rachel Berry wants to be a star... duh... and has been preparing non-stop for her NYADA audition.  She's avoiding milk and germs while practicing all her smiles.  She's dedicated.  And when she hears that Kurt might take a risk and switch to a more challenging song at the last minute in his audition, she advises him not to do so.  She's sticking with something safe:  "Don't Rain on My Parade" which she's sung since she was two years old.  But in the end, Kurt goes for it, and his risk pays off.  The school's representative, Carmen Tibideaux (Whoopi Goldberg), is more than impressed with him.  But when it's time for Rachel to perform, she chokes.  She messes up the words not once but twice, and Ms. Tibideaux is not impressed.  Looks like Berry's dreams of stardom just went up in flames.

Puck might not graduate, but things could possibly turn around if he can pass Geography.  But when his plans to seduce the teacher fail, he thinks all hope is lost.  He's ready to just flunk out of school and clean pools forever... until his estranged father approaches him for money.  With $500 less in his pocket and a horrible vision of his future, Puck asks the boys for help to cram for his test.  Unfortunately, sometimes in life your hard work doesn't pay off.  He gets an F.

Roz Washington (aka "Black Sue") caught the girls making jokes about Coach Beiste's new black-eye.  Mean jokes.  Jokes about her being beat by her husband, Cooter.  But Roz doesn't think that domestic violence is something to laugh about, so she, Beiste and Sue try to teach them about the seriousness of a situation like that.  And although Beiste initially tries to lie and say she hit her eye while working out, she eventually admits that her husband got drunk and hit her.  Will she have the strength to get out of the situation?

The Pros:

• Puck's okay with not graduating why?  "Gowns are for ladies and tassels are for strippers."  Ha ha!
• Here's another funny line for ya:  "Black Sue and Original Recipe Sue are gonna take care of it." Oh, Sue, I love you.
• Puck's performance of Alice Cooper's "School's Out" was so much fun!  Cheerleaders dancing around him with creepy painted eyes and the grand finale of a burning guitar were all pretty damn awesome.
• Broadway songs!  Yay!
• I love "Cell Block Tango" from the musical Chicago!  While this wasn't as good as the movie version, it still made my heart happy... which is weird because it's a song about murder.  And I laughed out loud when Roz said, "But oh no, you pick a song about crazy women in their panties killing their men for chewing gum.  How is that supposed to help?
• Kurt was in his element with "Not the Boy Next Door" from the musical The Boy From Oz.  Go Kurt!  Now I must YouTube Hugh Jackman singing that song because... well... that needs to happen.
• Whoopi Goldberg!  I love Whoopi!
• I watched this episode with my friend Michelle who pretty much hated the punk rock cover of My Fair Lady's "The Rain in Spain," but I actually kinda liked it.  It was a little awkward at the start (mostly because I was thinking, "What the heck?") but as the boys fell into their groove I thought it was kinda fun.  Not something you'd run off to download onto your iPod, but it was a cool little novelty.
• The best song of the night, in my humble opinion, goes to the girls' cover of Florence + the Machine's "Shake It Out." So beautiful!  I was almost in tears.  Oh, and Tina got to sing finally!  Poor girl gets so forgotten...
• Rachel's rendition of Kelly Clarkson's "Cry" was another one that got me all sad and stuff.  Lots of emotion packed into this episode.

The Cons:

• Kurt singing "Music of the Night" from The Phantom of the Opera was not my favorite.  I'm glad he changed his mind and auditioned with something else.
• Rachel choked on her audition!!  Oh no!  Sad to see someone's dreams shatter like that...
• Is Blaine a junior or a senior?  I mean, sometimes I get the impression that he's not graduating (like when he cried about missing Kurt next year in the Whitney episode) but then he's often lumped into the group of graduating senior boys.  Oh, and no song from him?

The Gleek Critique: "Dance With Somebody" Episode

Santana and Brittany sing Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody."
Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

When Mr. Schuester hears some of the glee kids singing a Whitney Houston song in the hallway, he wonders why it's so hard for them to say goodbye to the pop icon.  Ms. Pilsbury suggests that perhaps it's because they are really having trouble saying goodbye to each other.  Graduation is some 42 days away, according to Rachel, and everybody seems to be weepy with goodbyes.  Rachel and Santana hug it out, Puck gives all his boys shot glasses to remember him by, and even when glee practice isn't mandatory, the kids just can't help but going.  They are friends.

Will and Emma's wedding is set for the winter, but Will changes his mind and sets the date for May... before graduation.  After yelling at their wedding planner for saying it was impossible to do in a month, he decides he can plan it himself.  He gets the brilliant idea to hold the ceremony in a KOA campground, but Emma reminds him that she is OCD and a campground isn't excactly clean.  Why the rush?  He's afraid the glee kids won't come back for the wedding.  He wants it to happen before they leave.  And in keeping with the "hard to say goodbye" theme, he admits that he's going to miss the kids.  They changed his life.

Burt Hummel also has a touching scene with his son, Kurt, about the same thing: how much he is going to miss him when he goes to New York for school.  But Kurt has other things on his mind.  He met a guy named Chandler at a music store and they've been texting flirty things to each other.  He convinces himself it's all innocent, but when Blaine finds out about it, he's completely hurt.  Their relationship is on the rocks, but it turns out the root of the problem is that Blaine can't stand the fact that Kurt will be leaving him in a few months.  Blaine, like Burt, is going to miss Kurt immensely.

The only plotline not dealing with sad goodbyes is Quinn's.  Joe has been helping her out with her physical therapy and he has an obvious crush on her.  He asks Sam's advice, and Sam says to go for it.  By the show's end, it seems like the two of them are an item.

The Pros:

• The opening number was beautiful!  Mercedes, Santana, Kurt and Rachel sang a heartfelt, a capella rendition of "How Will I Know" while reverently placing  Whitney Houston's picture into a candle-filled locker-turned-shrine.  A bit over-the-top, sure... but this is Glee.
• The Whitney Houston songs continued to shine.  "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" was the perfect vehicle to show off Brittany's dance moves!  And the first-ever Santana/Rachel duet of "So Emotional" was lots of fun.  Too bad they didn't become friends sooner!
• Anytime Blaine sings it's a pro for me.  "It's Not Right But It's Okay" was so so so so good!  I loved it!  And I'm actually going to put Blaine and Kurt's little spat on this list because it was nice to see that even their relationship isn't perfect.  I mean, we see Rachel and Finn have tiffs on a weekly basis, so it was nice to see that the gays have arguments too.  That's one thing I love about Glee:  both hetero and homo relationships are given equal weight.
• "My Love is Your Love" was the perfect ending and it reminded me a lot of their rendition of "We Are Young" in an earlier episode this season.  Both songs embodied a moment of coming together as friends, and it's cheesy moments like these that make me smile.  Friendship is important!
• The other two songs were probably my least favorite, but still good.  Joe and Quinn sang "Saving All My Love For You" and Kurt sang "I Have Nothing."  Let's just say Kurt is no Whitney... but he sure gave it his all.
• Sam pumping iron.  Just watch those biceps...
• I got a kick out of the scene where Puck hands out the shot glasses.  "Sorry, Finn, I tried to get your balls back from Rachel but she's got those on lockdown."  Or when Blaine asked, "Why does mine say 'Drink until she's cute'?"

The Cons:

• Chandler was kind of an obnoxious character, and I have no idea why anybody dating Blaine Anderson would even consider texting him!
• There was a lot of awkwardness in this episode.  Seriously, Joe makes me feel uncomfortable.  First we had his weird scene with Sam where Sam told him to be a "new kind of Christian"-- one who has sex.  Then we have the scene where Quinn feels his erection on his leg and he talks about "sins of the flesh."  It was just awkward.  Sex talk and God talk together in the same conversation just make for awkwardness...
• Wait, isn't Quinn paralyzed?  How did she feel the boner on her leg?
• Blaine's acting wasn't my favorite in this episode.  A little too whiney and not all-together convincing.
• Where are you, Sue?

The Gleek Critique: "Saturday Night Glee-ver" Episode

Mercedes belts out a groovy 70s hit with her back-up dancers, Santana and Brittany.
Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

I wasn't overly thrilled when I heard Glee was doing a disco-heavy musical tribute to Saturday Night Fever.  As the kids all shouted out when Mr. Schuester suggested they perform disco numbers, "DISCO SUCKS!"  However, despite having no desire to download any of the episode's 8 songs, I thought the episode was pretty decent.

Mr. Schuester is worried about several of his graduating seniors, but mostly Mercedes, Santana and Finn.  Why?  He just doesn't feel like they have any dreams or ambition.  So given the assignment to "find themselves" through disco music, Santana decides she wants to be famous at any cost, Mercedes wants to be a powerful diva like Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston, and Finn...  well, we'll get to Finn in a little bit.

Santana's declaration of "famous no matter what" gets the better of her when Brittany, with the brain the size of a child's fist as Sue points out, decides that a sex tape will get Santana the notoriety she so desires.  It just so happens that McKinley High's hottest lesbian cheerleaders made a sex tape of their own already, so Brittany just went ahead and posted it online... but not before splicing it with some footage of her cat Lord Tubbington doing household chores.  What's the name of the video?  "Two Girls One Cat"?  Anyway, Santana soon realizes that she doesn't just want to be famous... she wants to really do something worthwhile with her life.  Maybe even go to college.

Mercedes delivers a powerful vocal performance, as usual, but admits to the group how very scared and nervous she is about her future.  She has no idea how to get to where she wants to be.  Sam took the initiative to record her performance on his phone and upload it to YouTube.  I'm surprised Mercedes never thought to do that before.  When he tells her what he's done, she's surprised to see that it has quite a few hits and lots of positive feedback.  She thanks him for his support and he swoops in for the kiss.  I bet she's regretting breaking it off with him now, eh?

And Finn has no idea what he wants to do with his life.  Rachel takes a moment to play the supportive fiancee and encourages him to go to college.  She even says that she'll wait on Broadway to make sure he's doing something that he loves first.  But after a trip to the guidance counselor, Finn throws all the college applications away.  Mr. Schuester confronts him about this, and Finn launches into an argument that he's a loser with no potential.  Having felt that way myself more than a time or two, I understood where he was coming from.  By the episode's end he has decided to become an actor, and with as equally an unrealistic goal as Rachel, the two are once-again the happy couple.

The last storyline involves a student named Wade from Carmel who stops by to talk to Kurt and Mercedes... well, mostly Kurt.  As one gay man to another, Wade comes seeking some advice.  He identifies himself as a woman named Unique and his dream is to dance in drag for his school's regional competition.  Mercedes and Kurt try to talk him out of it (although Sue thinks they should egg him on, hoping the performance would destroy their competition), but in the end Wade performs as Unique and it was probably my favorite number of the night!  That boy makes one helluva woman!

The Pros:

• Despite the initial dread over disco, the music wasn't half bad.  It managed to be far more fulfilling than "The Spanish Teacher" which featured some of the worst music in Glee history.  Of the 8 songs featured in a 45-minute show (yeah, they really jammed them in there) my favorites would probably be "Disco Inferno" by Mercedes rocking a really sexy red dress, Rachel's "How Deep Is Your Love" sung to Finn, and "Boogie Shoes" featuring The Glee Project finalist Alex Newell as Wade/Unique.  Just watch this clip:
• On Alex Newell's appearance, I find him to be much more interesting than the others who have joined the cast from that show.  And I know people are going to be hating, but I think it's kind of awesome that a transgendered character is being represented.
• We haven't had some awesome Brittany S. Pierce in a while and I was very glad she was given some dialogue again!  She is seriously so funny and sweet. 
• And speaking of Brittany, we even got Lord Tubbington back!  Ha ha!  Shots of him mopping and doing dishes were pretty great.
• I liked Puck's scene with Finn.  Beneath the tough guy attitude, he's a good guy.
• Seeing Sue dance is always a fun sight.  Even more fun when she's dressed like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever!

The Cons:

• I know that sometimes characters need to take a backseat, but they should at least be visible in group shots. Quinn was inexplicably absent as was the Irish kid Rory and his girlfriend Sugar.  Last week Mercedes was MIA.  It's weird!
• A lot of the disco songs are sung really high and hearing Blaine, Finn and Mr. Schuester sing in screechy falsetto wasn't exactly my favorite.
• People probably wouldn't react so favorably to a cross-dressing high school student in Ohio, but maybe they just thought it was a girl?
• Jesse St. James.  I just don't like him anymore.  Make him go away.

The Gleek Critique: "Big Brother" Episode

Matt Bomer guest stars as Cooper Anderson on Glee.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

After a 6-week hiatus Glee is back!  And it is back to stay.  Eight consecutive episodes will bring us to the Season 3 finale.

In tonight's episode, we discover that Quinn has indeed survived the car crash.  Did any of us really expect them to write her off?  But now Artie isn't the only one in a wheelchair... Quinn messed up her spine and has no movement in her legs.  However, unlike Artie, Quinn still has a probable chance of recovery.  Her goal is to be walking in time to dance on stage for Nationals and she seems eerily optimistic about the whole situation.  Artie helps her the best he can to cope with the new chair, forming a strong friendship between the two... that is, until her bitchy side returns and she reminds him that her situation is NOT permanent.

Meanwhile, Blaine's brother Cooper Anderson (Get it?  Like CNN's Anderson Cooper... but reverse!) comes to town.  Everybody in Lima freaks out because he's gone to Hollywood and is in a popular commercial for free credit scores.  That, and he's gorgeous.  Even Kurt can't help himself from drooling over his boyfriend's brother.  But Blaine isn't so excited to have his brother back around.  His brother picked on him growing up, and now all he seems to do is point out his flaws.  He's also a bit conceited.  But over the course of the hour they work things out (via song) and all ends well in Blaine's life.

Finchel isn't doing so well though.  Puck wants Finn to go to California with him after graduation to be a part of his pool cleaning business... and the idea is tempting.  What's he going to do in New York anyway?  But Rachel is dead seat on going to Broadway, and their argument at the end of the episode leaves us all a little unsure about their future.  They didn't get married after all, but they are still planning on doing so.  Or are they?

Rounding out the plot lines is Sue and her fertilized egg.  Her baby is going to be a girl, but there's also the possibility that she might have Down's syndrome...  Oh, and she's trying to whip the glee club into shape so she can get her hands on the money they'll get if they win at Nationals.

The Pros:

• Glee came back!
• Matt Bomer of White Collar guest starred as Blaine's brother Cooper and boy is he gorgeous!  He can guest star whenever he wants...
• The Quinn and Artie duet to Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" sounded great.  I think it was the first time they've ever sung together and I approved.  Not only did they sing that number, but later in the episode they sang "Up, Up, Up" by the Givers.  Probably not outstanding numbers, but enjoyable nonetheless.  And who doesn't enjoy a good amusement park montage?
• Quinn had a moment where she was laughing and she seemed genuinely happy for the first time ever.
• Tonight's songs were very Blaine-heavy and I am not complaining!  With his brother he sang a Duran Duran mash-up of "Hungry Like the Wolf"/"Rio."  Very nice, but their final song was the popular current hit "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye.  Great song, and the Glee rendition is pretty awesome too.  Sure the context of the song is vastly different, but I sure enjoyed it.

• The other song that Blaine sang was Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" which started off a little cheesy with the spoken part at the beginning but sure ended fantastic once we got to see Blaine all sweaty hitting punching bags! And if Ryan Murphy is reading this, shots of Blaine in the shower were much appreciated.  Thank you.  Please keep those coming.  Sincerely, me.
• Roz Washington's vicious attacks on Sue's old age never get old!  It's fun seeing Sue be out-Sued!
• Thank goodness Finn and Rachel didn't go through with the wedding.  They are too young!

The Cons:

• I felt like the episode started too quickly.  Does that make sense?  Seconds into the episode we find out that the wedding didn't happen and Quinn's in a wheelchair.  She and Artie are singing their number before you know it!  I guess I would have liked the episode to continue exactly where the last one ended... with them all waiting for Quinn at the courthouse.
• I miss the gay dads, but obviously they can't be in every episode.
• Next week is disco music...  Boo.

The Gleek Critique: "On My Way" Episode

Rachel and the New Directions perform at Regionals... and WIN!  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

Last night's Glee was probably one of the best episodes of this third season.  It was an emotional roller coaster!

After being spotted at Breadsticks, with Kurt, Dave Karofsky is outed as gay and subsequently tormented and bullied at his new high school.  The unfolding events are shown to us through an emotional montage intercut with Blaine singing Young The Giant's "Cough Syrup."  It was heartbreaking to see Karofsky pushed to the edge like that, and he steps onto a chair just before commercial break.

Later we discover that his suicide attempt wasn't a successful one (thank God), but the students and faculty at McKinley High are all pretty torn up about it.  Mr. Schuester leads a group discussion on suicide and shares that he once thought of ending his own life as well when he was in high school.  Then the students all talked about the things in their futures that they looked forward to most to remind themselves that life is worth living.

The show then devotes the next twenty minutes to Regionals, because local tragedy or not, the show must go on.  Sebastian has had a change of heart, and he and The Warblers dedicate their performance to Dave Karofsky.  Immediately following their two numbers, New Directions performs a set of three songs, so we are basically treated to five songs in a row.  All of which have an inspirational "life is worth living" kind of feel.

The third act is focused on Finn and Rachel's marriage, because realizing that life is short, they've decided not to wait any longer.  After they win at Regionals, the group heads to the courthouse to support Finn and Rachel--even Quinn has decided she will be there.  But on her way, Quinn's bug gets smashed into by an oncoming truck and the words "To be continued" appear on the blacked-out screen!

Oh, Sue Sylvester is pregnant by the way... but the identity of the father is something we will also have to wait for!  And the wait is over a month!

The Pros:

• Tears, tears and more tears!  Oh, I was crying like a little baby within the first ten minutes of the episode.  Pretty pathetic, huh?  But this is a pro because I LOVE when Glee pulls at my heartstrings!  I thought Blaine's song was a powerful backdrop to a bullying epidemic that is far too real amongst today's teens.
• The songs performed at Regionals were awesome as well.  The Warblers performed "Stand" and "Glad You Came" which were pretty dang good, although Sebastian is no Blaine when it comes to vocals.  No wonder New Directions won! 
• New Directions' set list included a mash-up of "Fly"/"I Believe I Can Fly (Nicki Minaj/R.Kelly), Kelly Clarkson's "What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)" and Halestorm's "Here's to Us."  It was like a concert full of chart-toppers right in the middle of the show!
• Jeff Goldblum continues to slay me as one of Rachel's fathers.  He's seriously so funny... and his reaction shots are perfect!  
• On that note, I enjoyed how the parents are trying to plot to stop the wedding!  Very amusing.
• Kurt and Karofsky had a very nice scene together in the hospital, and I'm pretty dang positive those two are going to end up together.  Just you watch.
• I like when Sue is being a softy.  :)
• Ending on a cliff-hanger was genius.  Genius!

The Cons:

• As if the clown judge at Sectionals wasn't creepy enough, Regionals has a vampire on the panel.  WTF?
• Mercedes' mention that they were planning to send Edible Arrangements to Karofsky sounded like product placement at the worst time.
• How did a last-minute wedding have such a nice wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses?  And how was Quinn going home to get hers when she just barely decided to go at all?
• I think we're looking at something like a 7-week hiatus...  :(

The Gleek Critique: "Heart" Episode

Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stokes Mitchell guest star as Rachel's gay dads!  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

Happy Valentine's Day!

The crazy, tone deaf girl Sugar is suddenly super popular in the glee club.  Not only did she give enough money to the group for them to perform at Regionals next week, but she is also throwing a huge "Sugar Shack" Valentine's Day party and they are all invited.  But who will be her arm candy?  Both Rory and Artie are fighting for her attention, and Artie thinks he has won when he sings her a super romantic song.  However, Rory gives Sugar a sob story about having to return to Ireland and she feels bad enough for him to be his date.  But is he lying?

Rachel's gay dads are very supportive of her plan to get married to Finn.  In fact, maybe a little too supportive.  They invite Finn and his parents over for a special Valentine's Day dinner where they toast the happy couple.  They also tell Rachel and Finn that since they are going to be married soon anyway, they might as well just spend the night together!  The kids are shocked (and so was I), but it's all done in the hopes that the two will realize they aren't ready to be married.  Sure enough Finn and Rachel are arguing faster than you can say "Stephen Sondheim," but they are still determined to make their relationship work.

The school's Celibacy Club is now called the God Squad (perhaps because none of them are actually celibate?), and Mercedes, Sam and Quinn are all in it.  Their newest member is Joseph Hart, a formerly home-schooled hippie who Quinn describes as a "teenage Jesus."  They decide to sing "vocal valentines" to raise some money for their club, but face a moral predicament when Santana pays them to serenade Brittany for her.

Meanwhile, Kurt is receiving valentine cards, candy and "gorillagrams" from his "secret admirer" who he assumes to be his ailing boyfriend Blaine.  But in the end, it turns out the man in the monkey suit is actually... get ready for it... KAROFSKY!  Yes, Karofsky finally admitted what we've known since the beginning, that he's in love with Kurt.  Kurt, of course, is dating Blaine so he had to turn Karofsky down... but not before one of Karofsky's classmates overhears the whole conversation.

The Pros:

• Who wouldn't dream about Tony Danza?  Ha ha!  I loved Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stokes Mitchell as Rachel's gay dads!  They were funny and likable and the best part of the episode in my opinion.
• The Glee Project winner Samuel Larsen debuted tonight, and I enjoyed his vocals on "Stereo Hearts" by Gym Class Heroes (along with Sam and Mercedes and Quinn).  I also liked the God Squad's mash-up of "Cherish/Cherish."
• Mike and Tina's first duet as a couple (as far as I can remember) was super cute!  Their rendition of Nat King Cole's "L-O-V-E" was great and I liked how it was intercut with Rory and Artie's battle over Sugar.
• Even Principal Figgins knows Finn and Rachel are known as "Finchel."  He is down on the lingo.
• Artie's "Let Me Love You" by Mario had me swooning!
• Still not a huge fan of Rory's character, but I really thought he sounded great on Michael Buble's "Home."  He does well with ballads!
• Although the song was a last-minute decision to pay tribute to the late Whitney Houston, I really loved Mercedes' rendition of "I Will Always Love You."  Her voice is so beautiful... and so is she!  She rocked that red dress at the end!
• "We're going to have dessert... and then we'll commence with the teenage love-making."  Ha ha... Parent of the Year goes to Jeff Goldblum!
• Blaine's triumphant return (in a super awesome heart-shaped eye patch) made my heart happy.  And "Love Shack" was phenomenal!  That song by the B-52s is already awesome and fun, and their rendition of it at the Valentine's Day party was filled with so much gleeful energy!  I would pay good money to go to a party like that!

The Cons:

• Sam was a male stripper... why is he on the God Squad?
• Why is Mercedes all self-righteous all of a sudden?  Kurt is like her best friend, but she can't serenade Brittany and Santana?  At least they all got over it by the end.
• And Mercedes, why would you say no to Sam?  That boy is cute!

The Gleek Critique: "The Spanish Teacher" Episode

Ricky Martin guest stars as a singing Spanish teacher on Glee, image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

Glee gets bilingual in tonight's episode!  Unfortunately, Mr. Schuester is not-so-bilingual... which really is a bummer considering he's a Spanish teacher.  When a student files a complaint about his lackluster teaching abilities, Mr. Schuester decides to take a night class to brush up on his Spanish.  The instructor, David Martinez (played by guest star Ricky Martin), also happens to be a spectacular performer, so he decides to show off his music skills to the students.  The students really dig him, and their assignment for the week is to sing songs that are in Spanish by latin artists.

Sue Sylvester, finds herself in a similar situation as Mr. Schuester:  a student has complained about her teaching as well.  Apparently Sue has lost her passion for cheerleading and the swim coach is eying her job.  But Sue has bigger aspirations now... more maternal aspirations.  As shocking as it may seem, she wants to have a baby.  And even more shocking is the fact that she wants Will's sperm to do the trick!

Rachel spills the beans about her engagement with Finn to Mercedes and Kurt and both of them are surprised at the news.  Kurt confronts Finn about it, telling him that the real reason he asked Rachel to marry him is because he's given up on himself.  Finn insists that isn't so, but ultimately questions his motives.

Mercedes and Sam talk with Ms. Pilsbury about their feelings toward one another and the fact that Mercedes has a boyfriend.  Ms. Pilsbury helps out with one of her quirky pamphlets.  Will doesn't think her pamphlets are so awesome though, and he snaps at her while struggling with some Spanish translations.  She's hurt, of course, but when some of her pamphlets help out the football team and spread to all the other teams in the district, Will realizes just how motivating Emma's pamphlets really are.  She's such a good teacher, in fact, that she earns tenure.

It is discovered that Becky was the one who wrote about Coach Sylvester and Santana was the one who wrote about Mr. Schuester.  Santana helps Mr. Schue to realize that Spanish isn't his thing, so he convinces Principal Figgins to hire David Martinez as the new McKinley Spanish teacher.  So what will Mr. Schuester teach besides the glee club?  Well, he likes The History Channel.

The Pros:

• I learned something while watching Glee!  By 2030 more than half the nation will speak Spanish as a first language!  See?  It's an educational show.
• Gloria Estefan's "Don't Wanna Lose You" is a beautiful song (growing up my dad had all of her cassette tapes) and I thought Mercedes did well with it... even the parts in Spanish.
• In response to Mercedes, Sam sang a mash-up of "Bamboleo" by the Gipsy Kings and "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias with the other boys.  He sounds even sexier in Spanish!
• Ricky Martin sang twice in the episode, and I enjoyed his duet with Santana the most.  The two of them sang "La Isla Bonita" by Madonna and it was fantastic.  I think it was my favorite song of the night.  The other song he sang with the glee kids was L.M.F.A.O.'s "Sexy And I Know It" which was fun enough, but not really the best to showcase his voice at all.
• I really enjoyed the scene between Kurt and Finn, mostly because I like seeing how the two get along as brothers.  We don't see that enough.
• Surprisingly, I thought Ricky Martin did a decent job with the acting on the show.  He's a singer, not an actor, so I was impressed that he seemed pretty natural with his dialogue.
• Will's apology using his own pamphlets was pretty adorable.
• Sue was pretty funny this episode, and I loved how everyone kept asking "With whose vagina?" every time she mentioned she wanted to have a baby.  Can you imagine a little baby in a track suit?

The Cons:

• Mexican hipster boots??  Why boys?  Why?
• No Blaine this episode because he's still recovering from his eye injury.  Stupid slushie.
• Ricky Martin guest stars but nobody sings a Ricky Martin song?  Where was "Livin' La Vida Loca"?
• Mr. Schuester's Spanish rendition of "A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis Presley goes on my con list.  His matador costume combined with Mike and Brittany running around like bulls was really pretty pathetic.  I guess it was supposed to be... but still.  Even the opening rendition of "La Cucaracha" was less painful to watch.

The Gleek Critique: "Michael" Episode

Blaine and the others sing "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" by the incomparable Michael Jackson.

by Jack Garcia

The glee kids want to perform Michael Jackson songs again at Regionals, but it turns out The Warblers are doing Michael Jackson songs as well.  So what do they do about it?  Have a sing-off in a dark abandoned parking garage to determine which group can perform the King of Pop's hits.  But things turn not-so-friendly when The Warblers throw a slushie in Blaine's face.  True, all the other New Directions kids have been slushied... but this one seems to have something more sinister in it.  He tore his cornea, had to have eye surgery and now wears an eye patch.

Kurt wants revenge on Sebastian for what he did to Blaine (which was actually meant for Kurt), and talks to Santana about it.  Santana gets Sebastian to admit that the slushie had rock salt in it and secretly gets it on tape.  However, by the time she gets it to Kurt, he's had a change of heart and feels that they should take the high road and not get Sebastian in trouble.

Finn wants Rachel's answer to his proposal, but she still hasn't given it to him.  She loves him, but she's not sure if now is the right time to get engaged.  She talks to Quinn and asks for her advice.  Quinn doesn't think Rachel should do it.  She thinks she should go out and seize her future, and not chain herself to some man.   Rachel considers what Quinn said, but since she is afraid she'll never get in NYADA (because Kurt already found out he is a finalist and even Quinn got into Yale) she feels that Finn is all she has.  She says yes, and it's a touching moment, but when she discovers that she is also a NYADA finalist she isn't so sure that she made the right decision with Finn.

And as far as romance goes, Sam is wooing Mercedes pretty hardcore right now.  And Mercedes, forgetting all about her boyfriend, let's him kiss her!

The Pros:

• WWMJD?  (What would Michael Jackson do?)
• I loved the rumble in the parking garage between The Warblers and New Directions!  "Bad" is an awesome song, and I liked the "mock-fighting" choreography.
• Artie can walk!  Okay, not really... just in his mind, which looks a lot like the "Scream" music video.  Anyway, I love when Kevin McHale gets a rare moment to show off his real-life dance moves.  And Mike sang again!
• Quinn doesn't get many solos, and I enjoyed "Never Can Say Goodbye."  I really feel like her character has made some amazing progress.  Side note: she looked stunning in that black sequined dress!
• "You know what, Prancy Smurf?  I respect that."  Gotta love Santana's name-calling.
• Believable or not, Sam and Mercedes are adorable together and their duet of "Human Nature" was charming... and that kiss?!  Magic.
• I loved when Kurt's dad said, "Who's going to tell Blaine? You got to let me do it!" after finding out Kurt was a NYADA finalist.  He's such a supportive dad!
• I had never heard "Ben" before, but it was cute.  Apparently young M.J. sang it.
• "Smooth Criminal" with Blaine and Santana was awesome!  I might have watched it on the internet a million times.  Just maybe.  I can't get enough of those battling cellos!
• "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" was a great duet between Rachel and Finn (and I love the song).  And Rachel accepted Finn's proposal!  Yay!  However, I will say that I enjoyed Sam and Mercedes' duet better.
• They did the morph thing from the "Black or White" music video!

The Cons:

• Kurt's hat in the opening number.  Then his poncho later in the choir room.
• Sebastian should have gotten in trouble for the slushie thing.  High road or not, justice needs to be served!
• The Warblers got up and joined the New Directions in the final number?  Too cheesy for Glee even...

The Gleek Critique: "Yes/No" Episode

Sam singing "Summer Nights" from Grease along with the other McKinley boys.

by Jack Garcia

Fox's Glee returned after their holiday hiatus with an episode all about love... and it's not even Valentine's Day yet.  The night opened with the girls asking Mercedes to fill them all in on her summer romance with Sam (because let's face it, we as viewers don't know anything about it!).  The boys ask Sam the same question and we instantly launch into a Grease moment with the song "Summer Nights."  Talking about the summer causes Sam to ask Mercedes if there's any way the two of them can get back together, but Mercedes insists that it was just a fling and all in the past.  All talk, of course, because in reality the diva just can't stop thinking about Trouty Mouth... even though she has a new beau.

In order to impress Mercedes, Sam decides to join the swim team.  He's not the only one trying to win over hearts, however, and we soon learn that Becky has developed a crush on Artie.  She asks him out on a date, and out of kindness he says yes.  But when she texts him dirty pictures, he realizes she wants to be more than friends.  He doesn't know how to tell her that he isn't interested and Sue Sylvester gives him some advice.  Feeling rejected, Becky runs into Sue's arms and the two of them eat ice cream and watch chick flicks.

Will thinks it's time to propose to Emma, but after talking with her parents he begins to have some doubts.  He finally overcomes these doubts and proposes to Ms. Pillsbury in show-stopping over-the-top Glee fashion.  She says yes of course!  The wedding proposals don't stop there though.  Finn reveals a desire to join the military, and his mother tells him the truth about his father's death--which wasn't in war like he thought it was.  His father was dishonorably discharged before dying of a drug overdose somewhere in Cincinnati.  Feeling like the only thing good in his life is his girlfriend Rachel, he proposes to her with a ring and everything...

What does Rachel say?  We'll find out in two weeks!

The Pros:

• The "Summer Love" song was a cute redo of the original scene in the Grease movie and was even filmed using the exact same bleachers!
• Becky's voice-over in a British accent was pretty hilarious... and I'm glad she got a bigger role.
• Emma's cover of "Wedding Bell Blues" was funny with Sue and Beiste in the background wearing the ridiculous hats Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie wore to the Royal Wedding.
• Although more or less pointless to the plot, the mash-up of Maroon 5's "Moves Like Jagger" and the Rolling Stones' "Jumpin Jack Flash" was pretty cool.  Who doesn't like Mick Jagger?
• Sam in a swimsuit.
• Leona Lewis' "The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face" sung by Tina, Rachel, Santana and Mercedes was very beautiful, as was the slower version of Usher's "Without You" sung by Rachel to Finn.  So many great love ballads!
• The scene where Emma is crying and bearing her heart to Will was so touching.  Damn it, Glee!  Why do you have to make me cry??
• Rihanna's "We Found Love" sung to synchronized swimming in vintage bathing suits was pretty out there... but I liked it.  When Will came in dressed in a white tux I almost died!  What an adorable proposal!  I AM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!
• The news of Finn's father was so shocking!  Totally came out of the blue.
• I loved when Sue said "Lifetime: Television for Ovaries."  Ha ha ha.... oh, so true.

The Cons:

• Emma's parents are horrible, this we know, but why did they seem oblivious to the fact that their daughter had been married once before?  Did they forget or was it an oversight on the writer's part?
• Not much Blaine, which is sad.
• They are making me wait two weeks to find out whether or not Rachel accepted Finn's proposal... so rude!

The Gleek Critique: "Extraordinary Merry Christmas" Episode

Mercedes sings "All I Want for Christmas is You" to open Glee's Christmas special.

by Jack Garcia

Christmas is here!  And do you know what that means?  Holiday-themed episodes on television, and Glee was no different.  The night opened with Mercedes and the other club members singing and decorating the choir room's Christmas tree (or "Holiday Tree" if you live in Rhode Island) and it immediately evoked a spirit of fun and merriment to get the episode going.

Plot-wise, Coach Sue asked Artie, Kurt and Blaine to come into her office where she asked if the glee club would be interested in helping her at the homeless shelter.  The holidays remind her of the sister who passed away last year and Sue wants to keep busy so she doesn't think about how much she misses her.  The guys all agree that the glee club will help out.  Unfortunately, they all soon forget about their commitment with Sue when Mr. Schuester comes into the choir room announcing that the local PBS station wants them to do a televised Christmas special.  The kids are all ecstatic, and since Artie did such a great job directing the school's musical, he's the one chosen to direct the special.  (Just a side note, but the actual episode was directed by none other than Schuester actor Matthew Morrison.)

Aside from preparing songs for their second TV debut (let's not forget their mattress commercial in the first season), gift-giving also needs some attention.  Rachel has given Finn a detailed list of what she wants for Christmas, but the good-intentioned but often dim-witted Finn decides to deviate from that list.  He buys her some sort of pig that will feed a starving African village.  Very charitable, but not exactly the diamond earrings Rachel had in mind.  And speaking of people in faraway lands, Rory misses home and wishes that his family could afford to visit him from Ireland.  Sam understands him, seeing as his family is away in Kentucky, and the two become friends.

The Christmas special airs and it's a delightful throwback to 60s black-and-white television, complete with a sleek mid-century chalet as the setting where the very dapper Kurt and Blaine host some of their friends around the piano.  Another handful of songs are sung and some references to Star Wars are thrown in just for kicks.  Artie really is just a nerd at heart.  The special is supposed to end with Rory retelling the story of Frosty the Snowman, but instead he improvises and tells the biblical story of Christ's birth.  The kids are touched, and they all head over to the homeless shelter to help out Sue and sing one last rousing number, tugging at our heartstrings like only Glee can.

The Pros:

• Who doesn't like Christmas songs?  Even the Jewish characters do!  Tonight's episode was filled with some very fun songs, my favorites including Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You," a Kurt and Blaine duet of "Let It Snow" (reminiscent of last Christmas' "Baby It's Cold Outside"), "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music (although hardly a Christmas song), and the 1984 Band Aid charity single "Do They Know It's Christmas?"  That last one will make you cry, unless your heart is two sizes too small...
• Also cool about "Do They Know It's Christmas?" is that all proceeds from the Glee cast version will be donated to the Band Aid Charitable Trust.
• The song "Extraordinary Merry Christmas" that the episode is named after is a Glee original!  Pretty cool, huh?  It was written by their executive music producer Adam Anders.
• Sue saying,  "I made plans to shoot reindeer out of a helicopter with Sarah Palin, but she cancelled."  That woman cracks me up!
• CHEWBACCA!  Ha ha!  Apparently they had to get special permission from George Lucas and use the only actor allowed to play Chewbacca.
• Artie:  "The phrase is 'Merry Christmas' not 'Morose Christmas.'"  That's right people, only happy songs!
• Kurt's introduction of Blaine as his "best friend and holiday roommate" was pretty funny.  I really thought those two were adorable all dressed in their retro tuxes.  I also have a soft spot for black-and-white, so the show-within-a-show was really my favorite part of the episode.
• I loved that Rachel named a pig after Barbra Streisand!  Ha ha!

The Cons:

• Even for Glee standards, Damian McGinty who plays Rory is not the greatest actor in the world.  And although I enjoy his voice, they haven't given him a song yet that really wows me.  At least he's not wearing green all the time anymore.
• I could have done without the Cheerios and their ribbon-dancing.  I'm not even a fan of that Waitress song "Christmas Wrapping" that they danced to...
• No more Glee for a while... the show is going on Christmas break.

The Gleek Critique: "Hold On to Sixteen"

New Directions performing a trio of Jackson songs at Sectionals.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

Finn realizes that New Directions doesn't have a chance at winning Sectionals.  His brilliant solution to this problem?  Hunt Sam Evans down and convince him to transfer back to McKinley!  It doesn't even matter that he's moved completely out of the state!  So he and Rachel convince Sam to come back (which means the real-life actor has decided to return to the show) and his parents agree.  For some reason.

Quinn continues on her psychotic mission to regain custody of her daughter.  The info Puck shared with her about he and Shelby's coitus is proving very useful.  If she can get Shelby fired, she'll be seen as an "unfit mother."  She's also trying to get back with Sam, which isn't working because he is determined to get back with Mercedes.

Sebastian shows up to flirt with Blaine again and he makes it very known to Kurt that he doesn't like him.  It's okay though, because Kurt doesn't like Sebastian either.  But they both like Blaine... and the game is on.  Not everybody likes Blaine though.  Finn seems to hate him, but when Blaine confronts him about it, he admits that he is really just jealous.  The two make amends and everything is good in the hood.

Mike's dad is still very opposed to his son pursuing a career in the arts, so Mike decides to apply for Stanford to make him happy.  But with a little coercion from Tina, Mike's father comes to Sectionals and is moved by his son's performance... causing a heartwarming (or gag-worthy?) change of heart.  And Mike's dad isn't the only one who loved New Directions.  The judges were impressed as well and they win the competition!

The Pros:

• Sam is back tonight!  And he came back naked!!  That's right.  Naked.  Well, almost naked.  He's been working as a male stripper...
• The sexiness continues when Blaine is seen boxing!
• "Buenos Aires" from the musical Evita was really fun!  That Glee Project winner is really good.  I liked the song she did in the first episode as well.
• I liked Shelby's advice to Quinn... and thank goodness it seems like she is actually following it!
• The Troubletones can do no wrong!  Their mash-up of "Survivor/I Will Survive" at Sectionals was fantastic!  Seriously, Mercedes and Santana should sing together all the time.  Over and over.
• The Asians got solos at Sectionals!  Ignoring how racist I just sounded, Tina never gets solos anymore so I was thrilled that she was featured as was Mike Chang.  Doing the Jackson Five's "ABC" followed by Janet Jackson's "Control" and Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" was a tremendous tour de force and I ate it all up!  Seriously, New Directions kicked butt tonight!
• Speaking of the New Directions, I love how they solved their low numbers by recruiting the random band kids that accompany them in the choir room.
• Their last song "We Are Young" made me happy inside... mostly because all of the kids were together again!

The Cons:

• A clown is judging Sectionals?
• Again... a clown? 
• Sue isn't to be seen... but we get a clown.

The Gleek Critique: "I Kissed a Girl" Episode

The girls sing Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl."  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

The lesbian focus on Glee continues with tonight’s episode, where we see the immediate repercussions of Finn’s outing of Santana last episode.  In order to make it up to her, Finn lies to Principal Figgins and insists that Santana never really slapped him.  It was a stage slap.  Just pretend.  And aside from helping her to avoid any disciplinary action she might have received for her violent outburst, he and the other New Directions members showed their love and support for the lady-lovin’ latina by serenading her with songs written and sung by female artists.  Eventually Santana’s hard heart was softened, and bolstered with confidence she came out to her family.  We are told that her parents were accepting, but in a heartbreaking scene with her abuelita we see that not everybody is ready to handle her lifestyle choice.

Speaking of breaking hearts, Coach Beiste’s inability to communicate her feelings to her crush Cooter the Recruiter left the playing field wide open for Sue to snatch him up.  Sue’s only motivation for dating him is to boost her numbers in the polls—and to rub it in Beiste’s face.  Beiste is determined to fight for her man, and Sue’s tactics don’t even work out for her in the end.  She loses the election to Burt Hummel.

And while we are on the subject of elections, Kurt discovers he has won class president and is initially thrilled… that is, until he is pulled into the principal’s office for stuffing the ballot boxes.  Nobody believes he didn’t do it, until Rachel comes in and admits it was she who did the dirty deed.  Her punishment?  Suspension for a week, a mark on her permanent record and a ban from competing in Sectionals.

Oh, Puck and Shelby have sex too… just throwing that in there.

The Pros:

• Sue's list of "booty calls" was hilarious!  Dan Quayle (too needy), Steve Baldwin (train wreck) and Vladimir Putin (contact through Russian embassy) were some of the lucky men to find themselves in that little black book!
• I liked Finn's slowed down rendition of Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" and Santana's final number of K.D. Lang's "Constant Craving" the best this episode, although neither one of them was half as powerful as last episode's Adelle mash-up.
• "I Kissed a Girl" was pretty fun, and I liked how all the girls stood up for Santana.
• Finn acted very maturely!  Way to go!
• Coach Beiste sang for the first time!  That was a happy surprise, even if her rendition of Dolly Parton's "Jolene" was less than impressive.
• Santana is officially out of the closet now, which is a good thing I think.

The Cons:

• Somehow Santana's storyline wasn't as emotional as it was last episode...
• Puck told Quinn about he and Shelby, which is a very dumb move!
• After all the praise Kurt received for playing fair in the elections, I was surprised to see him consider stuffing the ballots.  It just didn't seem like something he would even think about.
• Kurt's weird half-sweater thing cut on the diagonal.  What happened to the rest of it?
• Has everyone forgotten the minimum number of show choir members necessary to compete in Sectionals?  Because neither New Directions nor Troubletones make the cut.