The Gleek Critique: "Original Song" Episode

New Directions performing their original "Loser Like Me" at Regionals.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

Although Rachel's newest attempt at songwriting, "Only Child," is better than the dismal "My Headband," it's still not that fantastic.  Maybe a little too Rachel-tailored?  However, the idea still catches on and it is decided by all the New Directions kids that they will sing original music at Regionals.  Quinn agrees to help Rachel, with motives all her own, but the other kids think they should all get a stab at songwriting.  Plenty of original songs are created and sung, and ultimately the perfect two are chosen for the big competition!

So why was Quinn helping Rachel?  Only to get close enough to tell her to stay away from Finn, because although she may have Finn now, she knows that he still harbors feelings for Rachel and vice versa.  As far as Quinn is concerned, Finn is her first love and they are going to get married and live in Lima their whole lives.  Oh, and she really wants them to be Prom King and Queen.  Like really really wants that...


Over at Dalton Academy, Kurt suggests that somebody besides Blaine should sing all of The Warblers' solos.  As a sort of compromise, it is decided that the solo should become a duet.  Blaine chooses Kurt to be his duet partner after hearing Kurt's beautiful tribute to the deceased Warbler mascot.  But not only did Kurt's rendition of The Beatles' song "Blackbird" cause him to be chosen for the duet, it also helped Blaine to realize that he had feelings for Kurt.  Their friendship has officially become a relationship.

And the big competition?  McKinley's New Directions won first place!  They are going to Nationals!

The Pros:

• The Warblers singing Maroon 5's "Misery" was a great way to start the episode!  They later sang an awesome version of Pink's "Raise Your Glass" and to show their softer side, "Candles" by Hey Monday.
• The original songs that didn't make the cut were all pretty fun, especially Santana's ode to her big-lipped boyfriend entitled "Trouty Mouth."  Silly lyrics but very jazzy and sexy.  She has a great voice.  Puck's song written for Lauren was pretty awesome as well.  I mean, it's called "Big Ass Heart."  What more is there to say?  And Mercedes really stole the show with her "Hell to the No."  I love to hear that girl sing!
• When Blaine said, "You move me, Kurt" I swooned!  Oh my gosh, so romantic and way too freaking cute!  And that kiss?!  TO DIE FOR!  By far the greatest moment thus far on Glee for me!  I love Kurt's character so much and I am very happy that he has found love at last! 
• I really thought Rachel's "Get It Right" was performed beautifully.  She is such a talented performer.  And of course, "Loser Like Me" was a fun anthem for losers everywhere, ready to be a chart-topper!
• Kathy Griffin was on!  I love her, I love her, I love her!  And having her play a member of the tea party was very funny.  When she said, "I am not a witch," I almost peed my pants.  That whole judge scene was just hilarious in general, what with Rod being Rod and that stripper-turned-nun going on and on...
• "My husband is verbally abusive and I have been drinking since noon.. I'm bored, let's just see who won!"  Ha ha, so funny.  And then Sue went and punched her!  Ha ha ha, even funnier!

The Cons:

• Santana won't talk to Brittany now, and seems determined to just act is if she never said anything about her feelings for her.  She's just going to keep on dating Sam.  Sad.
• Whatever happened to Vocal Adrenaline, the big rivals from last season?  Don't tell me they didn't make it to Regionals!
• As cute as the foam "loser" hands were, where in the world did the audience get them from?  And nobody outside of McKinley High would understand the significance of the slushie-throwing at the end...
• No new episodes until April!?

The Gleek Critique: "Sexy" Episode

Mr. Schuester and Holly Holiday dance together... and then some.  Image property of Fox.

by Jack Garcia

The episode opens with Emma holding a meeting of the Celibacy Club (consisting of Rachel, a virgin, and Quinn, who's not) and is encouraging the girls to abstain from sex until their honeymoon... or later.  However, Holly Holiday is back at McKinley High teaching Sex Ed and she thinks the more informed the better.  I mean, the kids are so clueless about sex that they think they can get AIDS from a cucumber.  Brittany thinks she's pregnant because she found a bird's nest.  And let's not forget Finn believing he had fathered Quinn's baby because they kissed in a hot tub.

And the sexual problems continue.  Lauren wants to make a sex tape with Puck in order to become famous, which would of course be child pornography since they are under eighteen years of age.  Then Brittany is confused about her relationship with Santana.  When she tries to talk to Santana about it, she blows it off like it's no big deal.  She doesn't like labels.  Luckily, Holly is around to help all of these students.  But she doesn't just help teens.  Dr. Carl asks her to speak with him and Emma, and lo and behold, it's revealed that Emma still has feelings for Will.  That's problematic for both Dr. Carl (Emma's husband) and for Holly who's falling for Will as well.

Meanwhile, Sue, hoping to get some secrets in return, tells Kurt and Blaine that New Directions is focusing on their sex appeal.  This makes Blaine wonder whether The Warblers are sexy enough, so they invite a girls school to watch them sing and give them feedback.  Turns out the guys are pretty sexy as a whole, but Kurt's "sexy face" looks like he's constipated.   He confesses to Blaine that he doesn't feel very sexy.  In fact, sex kind of scares him in general.  So what does Blaine do?  He goes to Kurt's dad and tells him to have "the talk" with his son.

The Pros:

• Holly Holiday had some pretty fun quotes about sex.  Like saying it's "just like hugging, only wetter" or that teaching abstinence is "like saying vegetarianism is an option for lions."
• "Animal" by Neon Trees sung by Blaine, Kurt and The Warblers was pretty awesome... mostly because Kurt sang and he hasn't sung in far too long!  Although, he did sound a bit synthesized.  But it's Glee, so that's normal.
• Prince's "Kiss" featured some unexpected tango-dancing which was pretty spectacular.  Hot damn Mr. Schue and Holly looked pretty sexy dancing together.  And that kiss?  Smoking!
• Some great scenes!  Brittany and Santana had some really emotional and touching scenes, which gave their characters some refreshing depth.  I also really enjoyed both of the scenes with Burt (Kurt's dad); the one where Blaine talks to him in the shop and when he later has a heart-to-heart with Kurt about sex.
• The Santana-Brittany-Holly cover of  the Stevie Nicks song "Landslide" was just beautiful.  When Santana started crying I was crying right with her!  Which leads me to the next point...
• Santana's a lesbian!

The Cons:

• "Afternoon Delight" was stupid.  Is anyone dumb enough to not know that song is one big sexual innuendo?
• I'm still against Finn and Quinn.  People with rhyming names shouldn't be together!  I'm pretty sure that's a law.
• Sue was only in one scene.