Friday, November 11, 2011

Movie Reviews: It's Time for Rum with J. Edgar in Boots

by Jack Garcia

I haven’t posted a movie review in a really long time and I’m really sorry!  Please forgive me!  I’ve been busy with school and work and writing a novel… but I’m sure nobody cares to hear my excuses.  I will say, however, that I might make more of an effort to go see movies if the movies were a bit more exciting.  Oh well.

In Time AVERAGE

Justin Timberlake—who I may or may not be in love with—stars as Will Salas in this fun sci-fi flick written and directed by Andrew Niccol.  The premise is a world where time is literally money and nobody physically ages past 25.  Will is poor, therefore meaning that he lives day by day.  That is, until he meets a man who’s got centuries of time left and gives it all to Will.  With all the time in the world, Will leaves the ghetto and meets Sylvia Weis (Amanda Seyfried), the daughter of a wealthy man with eons of time.  Together, the two of them become anarchists intent on disrupting the system, stealing time from the wealthy and giving it the poor. 

Cillian Murphy plays a “time keeper” intent on stopping Will, and he’s probably the most fascinating to watch.  He really is a very talented actor.  Timberlake and Seyfried are decent but I feel like I’ve seen them do better work in other pictures.  While the premise is very interesting and some of the action sequences are cool and even nerve-wracking, the dialogue gets to be a little too clichéd for the majority of the movie.  There are way too many time puns!  However, I still found myself enjoying the movie, even if the execution never quite lived up to the idea in Andrew Niccol’s head.

The Rum Diary AVERAGE

Johnny Depp plays American journalist Paul Kemp in this Bruce Robinson film based on the novel by Hunter S. Thompson.  Kemp takes a job in Puerto Rico writing for a dying newspaper in the 1950s and quickly becomes fond of rum.  While there he meets Sanderson (Aaron Eckhart), a shady real estate developer, and his girl Chenault (Amber Heard) who eventually help him to discover his own morals.  Or something like that.  There’s also his pal Sala (Michael Rispoli) and a very strange man named Moburg (Giovanni Ribisi).

In my opinion, the film suffers from a lack of focus.  Several storylines and characters come and go into Kemp’s life without any real weight or purpose.  Some of the characters are very colorful and the locations are vibrant even when dirty and disgusting, but overall the movie just doesn’t have any emotional relevance or punch.  Not even Johnny Depp could save this one…

Puss in Boots AVERAGE

Antonio Banderas is back as the voice of Puss in Boots who the world first met in Shrek 2.  And while Dreamworks may have gotten the hint that four Shrek movies is one or two too many, that doesn’t seem to have stopped them from doing a Shrek spin-off by giving Puss his very own movie without the big green ogre.  And while it’s not the greatest thing to come out of their animation studio, it was enjoyable enough. 

Puss runs into Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek) who happens to be working for his old friend Humpty Dumpty (Zach Galifianakis) who is obsessed with finding the magic beans that will take them to the giant’s castle where the mythical golden goose resides.  Putting their checkered past behind them, they work together against the murderous Jack and Jill (voiced by Billy Bob Thornton and Amy Sedaris) to steal the beans, climb the beanstalk and embark on the adventure of a lifetime.  And just as to be expected with Dreamworks, true character development is shortchanged for adult low-brow humor and the outcome is a movie that’s ultimately forgettable and never quite as magical as it could have been.

J. Edgar AWESOME!

Leonardo DiCaprio stars as the fascinating historical figure J. Edgar Hoover in this biopic by director Clint Eastwood.  The film cuts back and forth between an aged Hoover dictating a book on the FBI’s history and the younger Hoover starting the organization from scratch.  We see the initial opposition to the bureau, some of its early successes including the Lindbergh kidnapping, and some of the drastic measures Hoover took to ensure the ultimate success of the bureau and to protect his image.  The film also explores J. Edgar Hoover’s closeted homosexuality by beautifully depicting his relationship with his mother Annie (Judi Dench), his secretary Helen Gandy (Naomi Watts) and most importantly the close relationship he had with his friend and protégé Clyde Tolson (Armie Hammer) with whom J. Edgar dined both lunch and dinner every day of his life.

I absolutely loved this movie and found it to be a fascinating portrayal of such an important player in American history.  Dustin Lance Black wrote a terrific screenplay and Clint Eastwood is a superb director and I found they both handled the subject matter with care and precision.  Of course the cast was superb, including the renowned Judi Dench who seems to be the perfect choice for any role.  Leonardo DiCaprio continues to be one of the greatest American actors in our day and age, embodying Hoover with a great underlying vulnerability beneath the passionate leadership.  Armie Hammer is relatively new to the acting scene and proves with this movie that he is one to keep an eye on.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Gleek Critique: "The First Time" Episode

Blaine and Rachel perform as Tony and Maria in McKinley's production of West Side Story.
by Jack Garcia

Artie has gotten a little full of himself as a director and he's been giving pointers to everyone.  And he's kind of overstepping his boundaries.  For example, he's been giving sex advice to Coach Beiste and telling Blaine and Rachel that their scenes together might be more passionate if they weren't both virgins.

Artie finds out that Coach Beiste has a crush on a football recruiter named Cooter (yes, that's really his name) so he does his best to match them up.  Luckily, Cooter likes Beiste too and he finally has the courage to ask her out on a date.  Beiste's insecurities flare up, but Cooter assures her that he really is interested in her.  By the episode's end they are holding hands and it is probably the cutest thing ever.

Meanwhile, Rachel takes Artie's advice to heart and decides to do the deed with Finn.  Finn of course is really excited that Rachel is ready to take that step with him, until he finds out that her true motivation is to gain life experience to improve her acting.  Kind of a mood kill.  And if that news wasn't rough, Finn also finds out that the recruiter isn't interested in him at all.  Looks like he won't be getting a football scholarship.

Things with Blaine and Kurt get complicated when Blaine visits his old school and meets Sebastian.  Sebastian isn't shy about expressing his desire for Blaine, which could mean trouble for Kurt.  The three of them decide to go to a small gay bar called Scandals where Blaine dances the night away with Sebastian.  While sitting at the bar alone, Kurt happens upon Karofsky.  Turns out Karofsky has transferred to another school and is coming to grips with his own homosexuality.

Blaine assures Kurt that Sebastian means nothing to him and the two consummate their love.  Rachel also has the realization that Finn means more to her than anything, and the two of them have sex for the first time as well.  The episode ends on a very tender note for both couples.

The Pros:
  • The Warblers!  Oh, how I've missed them and their little uniforms!  Their version of "Uptown Girl" was very fun to watch.
  • Sebastian's opinion of Blaine?  "Sex on a stick and sings like a dream."  Agreed.
  • I am a fan of Coach Beiste's character and I really like that she has found a love interest.  When Cooter said, "I don't date girls.  Just women.  Beautiful women like you," I almost cried.
  • I'm a huge fan of West Side Story so I'm really loving the song choices this season, and tonight was no exception.  Matching "A Boy Like That" with Sebastian's shameful pursuit of a guy in a relationship was very smart in my opinion, and I really thought "One Hand, One Heart" fit perfectly with the much-anticipated love-making scene.
  • Speaking of the big sex scene, I'm very grateful that it wasn't raunchy or crude but rather artistic and tasteful.  Good job, Glee.
  • There were some good dramatic scenes this episode, including Kurt and Blaine's argument outside of the bar and Finn's realization that his dreams might never come true.  Chris Colfer always does such a good job with his character, and I've been waiting for a big scene from Cory Monteith all season.
  • Tina actually had a decent amount of dialogue!  Woohoo!  Her little monologue about her first time with Mike was sweet.
  • My favorite song this episode was hands down their performance of "America."  What a great number!
The Cons
  • Artie is a pervert!  Why is he going around asking everyone about their sex lives?  Even teachers?
  • Sue and Mercedes were absent as was Mr. Schue really...  And speaking of Mr. Schue, when are he and Emma ever going to make love?
  • The sentimental background music can be a bit rough.  Let's tone down the sappy piano a bit, shall we?
  • This episode didn't talk about the Shelby-Puck kiss at all, and I am dying to know what happens with that!  But luckily for me, the promo for next week's episode shows that it will be explored soon enough!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Gleek Critique: "Pot O' Gold" Episode

One of The Glee Project winners, Damian McGinty, plays an Irish foreign exchange student on Glee.
by Jack Garcia

Brittany's family is housing a foreign exchange student from Ireland named Rory, and Brittany assumes her new house guest must be a leprechaun!  She asks him to grant her three wishes in order to receive her "pot o' gold" and the lovestruck young Irishman readily agrees!  Santana decides she deserves a wish as well, and asks Rory to convince Brittany that she should join the rival glee club with her.

Why?  Well, since Mercedes left New Directions last episode, she's been trying to recruit more girls to Shelby's glee club.  Santana figures she will get more opportunities to shine there, but doesn't want to switch choirs without Brittany by her side.  So once Rory works his "magic" (aka the power of suggestion) Brittany decides to do it, and she and Santana join Mercedes and the off-key Sugar in the newly formed Troubletones all-female glee club.

Meanwhile, Sue Sylvester is continuing her war against the arts.  After a rant she gives on her television spot Sue's Corner about the alleged over-funding of the high school musical at McKinley High, parents start to harass Principal Figgins until he is forced to cut the funding all together for the production of West Side Story.  Mr. Schuester and the kids are upset about this, but come up with the idea of selling ad space in the playbill to cover the show's costs.  When Kurt talks to his father about the whole situation, his dad gets so upset about it that he confronts Principal Figgins and makes quite a stand in favor of the arts.  Mr. Schuester is so impressed by Burt's passion that he encourages him to run against Sue as a write-in.

Quinn Fabray is still desperate to have her baby back in her life and comes up with a vicious plot to frame Shelby as an unfit mother.  But after Shelby helps Puck get some more pool-cleaning business, he feels bad about Quinn's plan and goes to Shelby's apartment to undo all that Quinn did.  While there he sings a song to soothe his poor daughter's crying, and he and Shelby find themselves sharing a very scandalous kiss...

The Pros:
  • Damian McGinty made a good debut on the show.  I'm still a little unsure of his acting chops, but he definitely has a nice voice.  His two songs, "Take Care of Yourself" by Teddy Thompson and "Bein' Green" by Kermit the Frog, were both really good.  He even hit some high notes to rival Kurt!
  • I really like the idea of Burt Hummel running for a local political office!  He's such a great father to Kurt and a really grounded individual...  I would vote for him!
  • I also like the very inappropriate teacher-student relationship between Shelby Cochran and Puck.  It will create a lot of drama, especially between he and Quinn who seemed to be coming together better than ever.  Not to mention all the trouble Shelby could be in if it ever got out...
  • Sue said something about being "literally horny with fear"... or something like that... and I thought it was hilarious!  She sure had some fun zingers in this episode.
  • The Troubletones rendition of Christina Aguilera's "Candyman" was lots of fun and I really dug the retro outfits!  The girls looked hot!
  • Puck was shirtless and lookin' dreamy!
The Cons:
  • Rory's character wearing green every day is kind of silly.  Do we think Irish people just wear green all the time?  Perhaps he was wearing green only to go along with Brittany's idea that he was a leprechaun... but I guess we'll see what he wears in the next episode.
  • I really haven't enjoyed Finn's character at all this season.  Tonight he was just jealous and annoying.  And Quinn isn't so enjoyable either.  She really needs to get a grip on her situation.  On a plus side, I'm starting to like Sugar!
  • Blaine's cover of Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)" was enjoyable enough, but is it his mission in life to cover every Katy Perry single ever recorded?  He needs some new material...

Monday, October 31, 2011

"Thriller" by Michael Jackson

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes
You're paralyzed

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl!
But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind
You're out of time

They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change that number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together, yeah
All through the night I'll save you from the terror on the screen
I'll make you see

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight




Happy Halloween!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

TV Viewing for Halloween

Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later is just one of the many Halloween movies AMC will be featuring all day.
by Jack Garcia

Let's face it.  Not all of us have wicked awesome plans for Halloween.  It's likely that we may find ourselves sitting on the couch at some point during the holiday, and that my friends, is where this little list might come in handy.  These shows and movies being aired on television can easily fulfill all of your Halloween needs!  Of course, the showtimes I've included pertain to me here in Orem, Utah.  If you do not live in the Mountain Time Zone, you can always consult the TV Guide website for your area.  I'm also watching basic cable, so if you have any channels like HBO, there might be even more options out there for ya!

7:30 am
MOVIE:  Halloween (AMC)
8 am
MOVIE:  Burnt Offerings (KMYU)
TV SHOW:  Supernatural (TNT)
9 am
TV SHOW:  Supernatural (TNT)
Prom Night, 9:30 am on FX
9:30 am
MOVIE:  Prom Night (FX)
MOVIE:  Halloween III: Season of the Witch (AMC)
10 am
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
11 am             
TV SPECIAL:  Halloween Block Party 2011 (HGTV)
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
TV SPECIAL:  15 Unforgettable Hollywood Tragedies (E!)
11:30 am
MOVIE:  The Strangers (FX)
11:45 am
MOVIE:  Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (AMC)
Noon
Teen Wolf episodes, 10 am - 10 pm on MTV
MOVIE:  The Boy Who Cried Werewolf (Nickelodeon)
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
TV SHOW:  A Haunting (Discovery Channel)
1 pm
TV SHOW:  The Haunted (Animal Planet)
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
MOVIE:  Shaun of the Dead (Comedy Central)
TV SHOW:  A Haunting (Discovery Channel)
1:30 pm
MOVIE:  The Happening (FX)
1:45 pm
MOVIE:  Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (AMC)
2 pm
TV SHOW:  The Haunted (Animal Planet)
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
TV SPECIAL:  Kids of Killers (E!)
Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular, 3 pm on Cartoon Network
TV SHOW:  A Haunting (Discovery Channel)
3 pm
DOCUMENTARY:  Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence (Animal Planet)
MOVIE:  Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular (Cartoon Network)
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
TV SPECIAL:  20 Most Horrifying Hollywood Murders (E!)
TV SHOW:  A Haunting (Discovery Channel)
3:30 pm
MOVIE:  Halloween: Resurrection (FX)
4 pm
DOCUMENTARY:  Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence (Animal Planet)
MOVIE:  Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (AMC)
TV SHOW:  UFO Files (History Channel)
Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred, 4 pm on Nickelodeon
MOVIE:  Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred (Nickelodeon)
MOVIE:  Scary Godmother: The Revenge of Jimmy (Cartoon Network)
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
5 pm
DOCUMENTARY:  Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence (Animal Planet)
TV SHOW:  UFO Files (History Channel)
MOVIE:  Scooby Doo! The Mystery Begins (Cartoon Network)
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
TV SHOW:  Making Monsters (Travel Channel)
5:30 pm          
MOVIE:  Ghost Rider (FX)
6 pm               
The Haunting of Molly Hartley, 6 pm and 10 pm on Lifetime
DOCUMENTARY:  Finding Bigfoot: Birth of a Legend (Animal Planet)
MOVIE:  Halloween (AMC)
TV SHOW:  UFO Hunters (History Channel)
MOVIE:  Gremlins (CMT)
MOVIE:  The Haunting of Molly Hartley (Lifetime)
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
TV SPECIAL:  Halloween Crazy (Travel Channel)
7 pm
TV SPECIAL:  Scared Shrekless (ABC)
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
DOCUMENTARY:  Ghost Adventures: The Beginning (Travel Channel)
8 pm               
MOVIE:  Halloween III:  Season of the Witch (AMC)
DOCUMENTARY:  Finding Bigfoot (Animal Planet)
Casper, 8 pm on ABC Family
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
MOVIE:  Casper (ABC Family)
8:30 pm          
MOVIE:  Gremlins (CMT)
MOVIE:  Twilight (FX)
9 pm               
DOCUMENTARY:  Finding Bigfoot: Birth of a Legend (Animal Planet)
TV SHOW:  Teen Wolf (MTV)
TV SHOW:  Ghost Adventures (Travel Channel)
10 pm             
MOVIE:  Hocus Pocus (ABC Family)
MOVIE:  The Haunting of Molly Hartley (Lifetime)
DOCUMENTARY:  Ghost Adventures: The Beginning (Travel Channel)
10:15 pm        
MOVIE:  Halloween 4:  The Return of Michael Myers (AMC)
11 pm             
American Horror Story episodes, 11 pm and midnight on FX
DOCUMENTARY:  Finding Bigfoot (Animal Planet)
TV SPECIAL:  Frankenstein: Theater of the Mind (PBS)
TV SHOW:  American Horror Story (FX)
Midnight        
DOCUMENTARY:  Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence (Animal Planet)
MOVIE:  Drag Me to Hell (USA)
TV SHOW:  American Horror Story (FX)
MOVIE:  Possessing Piper Rose (Lifetime)
TV SHOW:  Ghost Adventures (Travel Channel)

Friday, October 28, 2011

Harry Potter Deleted Scenes

by Jack Garcia

Thanks to MuggleNet, I was notified that some deleted scenes from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 have surfaced on YouTube.  Of course, being the nerdy fanboy that I am, I just needed to repost them!

The scenes aren't in the highest quality and they are inexplicably subtitled in Spanish, but they are still pretty neat to see.  They include a scene of the trio planning their break-in of Gringotts, a conversation with Luna and Harry at Dobby's grave, Remus and Tonks talking about their baby son Teddy, Filch locking up the Slytherin students only to have them escape free, and a few others.  Enjoy!



There have been rumors of some other deleted scenes (such as Fred's death) which haven't been seen anywhere yet.  I guess we'll all just have to wait and see if any more can be found on the DVD of the film, coming out November 11th.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Movie Review: 'The Three Musketeers'

Rating: 0/5
by Brian Kesler

Damn this movie. Damn it straight to hell. Damn every last bit of insufferable dialogue falling from the wooden lips of every last marionette on the ugly, calamitous screen. Damn its director and damn the screenwriters for raping the cold corpse of Alexandre Dumas and laughing as they do so.

First, why do we need another 'The Three Musketeers?' Because it's a recognizable name that will draw in the crowds as long as it's advertised with words like "As You've Never Seen It Before!" which euphemistically means "Not the classic you grew up with." There is enough new material here that, with a few plot changes, we could call this an "original" idea. Why can't we do that? I've said this before, but that's what best-selling novelists do. They take inspiration from classic novels, plays, poems, etc. all the time, introducing new ideas and removing some indicative plot-points, passing it off as their own. I would much rather prefer that. I really would. There's an entirely new plot development here involving flying pirate ships. Why can't we make this a pirate movie? Change the cardinal to the King's adviser, remove two of the musketeers (they're pointless here), remove the whole bit about the necklace, etc. Add a treasure hidden in the sky, maybe. Make it a race between France and England to find it. Steampunk the whole thing, rather than bits and pieces. With those few changes you suddenly have an "original" story that simply takes inspiration from the Dumas serial and doesn't make us defensive of the poorly departed writer.

Second, if I have to listen to characters talk, I'd like for them to say something interesting. Crazy suggestion, I know, but when I hear the maniacal, guffawing villain say something like, "Well, well, well ..." or "What do we have here?" or any other such banal shibboleth, it makes my eyes swell and my jaw drop and my voice screech piercingly until I'm like Roger Rabbit during a drinking binge. I hate talking head movies. Why is there so much dialogue when half of it is utterly useless and the other half is forced? I'm just watching a bunch of heads flapping.

Third: Action, special effects, set design, costume design, quick editing ... None of that fools me into thinking this movie is imaginative in any way. Crashing a flying pirate ship into the Notre Dame de Paris and proceeding to a poorly choreographed sword fight on the rooftop, given the characters, story, and situation, is not imaginative. It's thinking outside the box, sure. But, sometimes the box is a good place to be.

Anderson likes to be show-offy with his camera and with the action, which weakens the film. It draws attention away from the story. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the presence of the director. Look at Stanley Kubrick, or Orson Welles. What's the first thing you think of when I say Kubrick? Wide-angle lenses being used on close-up shots. He is a show-offy director and has the gall to invade the story for a little bit of, "Hey, this is a movie, you know, and I chose this camera angle to make you go, 'Wow, sweet camera angle.'" Whatever, I'm all for that. But, when it's all that and nothing of anything else ... what's the point? At least 'A Clockwork Orange' had a central character with something witty to say. At least 'The Shining' was an involving psychological study. At least '2001: A Space Odyssey,' through its lack of great characters, had a philosophical objective. Come on! This is a plot driven film. Pace it. It has the same sequence of events as the novel, yet it seems completely disorganized. That's called bad editing.

This movie is trying to be so many things at once. Think 'The Matrix,' mixed with 'Raiders of the Lost Ark,' mixed with 'Mission Impossible,' mixed with 'Pirates of the Caribbean,' and this is it. It's like combining a whole bunch of colors and ending up with a shitty brown-green. And whatever happened to great sword fights? I'll tell you what happened: 'The Phantom Menace.' Yup, ever since that outrageously over-choreographed duel between Maul, Obi-Wan, and Quigon, sword dueling in movies has been about flashy moves that show obvious choreography. The two greatest sword fights of all time are the climax in 'The Adventures of Robin Hood' with Errol Flynn and Basil Rathborne, and the Darth Vader/Luke Skywalker laser-duel in 'The Empire Strikes Back.' Both examples work so well, not because of the choreography, but because we've invested ourselves in these characters. There's a sense of urgency, because these villains are more than an equal match for our protagonist. They don't utilize quick cutting. In fact, they both have long shots, many of them slow-panning. 'The Empire Strikes Back' doesn't even have a score in this sequence. The tension is built entirely on the actors' performances: their eyes, their body language, their emotional commitment. That is what makes a great sword fight. Not this shit.